Anti-sabotage strategies to set (and hit) your goals

In my last blog post, I shared how traditional goal setting can sometimes leave us feeling stuck or defeated. For some, the pressure of big, ambitious goals can feel like an insurmountable mountain, especially when we’re not getting the results we expected. But here’s something to remember: sometimes, it’s not the goals themselves that are the issue—it’s the inner saboteurs we all have.

These saboteurs are mental patterns or self-limiting beliefs that show up in various forms: self-doubt, perfectionism, procrastination, or a fear of failure. They can significantly impact our ability to set and achieve goals by distorting our view of what’s possible or even paralysing us with negative thoughts.

Meet Sam (and her controller)

Meet Sam. She’s a senior leader at a growing company, deeply motivated to succeed.

Every year, Sam sets ambitious goals for herself and her team, with big hopes of making meaningful progress. But over time, she finds herself hitting the same roadblocks: overwhelm, frustration, and a creeping sense that she is the only one that can get sh*t done. But she has a team, and every time the pressure is on and the goals are too far to reach, she goes back to familiar patters. She is short with those who don’t live up to her standards, micromanages projects and tasks that can be competently done by others and takes on the burden of almost everything herself - as she is the only one she really trusts. When she falls short of her goals, she’s left questioning why things never seem to go as planned.

Through our coaching sessions, we uncovered that Sam’s saboteur, the Controller, was causing the biggest disruptions in her goal-setting process. Let me paint a picture of what this looked like for Sam.

The Controller Saboteur
Sam’s Controller saboteur had a tight grip on her every move. She needed to control every aspect of her goals, every deadline, every task. She would spend hours creating the perfect plan, meticulously mapping out every detail. However, when things didn’t go as expected—whether due to external factors, because the plan was simply too rigid or it relied on the imput of others —Sam would become overwhelmed and frustrated.

Her constant need for control made her feel exhausted, and instead of moving forward, she often found herself stuck in an endless cycle of adjustments and tweaks while butting up against those in her team, questioning why they were not more like her and led to some serious damage to relationships with key team members.

The constant struggle with her saboteur became clear: she was setting herself up for overwhelm and frustration, not success. In the next part of our work together, we focused on addressing this saboteur and helping Sam break free from its grip.

Does this resonate with you?! Are you thinking that your own controller saboteur may be impacting your progress more than you realised? Or maybe you don’t have a controller saboteur - but you know someone who does - a boss , a team-mate or a client?

Well now I want to introduce some alternative ways you can help yourself, and others, with goal setting approaches which minimise the saboteur impact you are dealing with!

Tackle YOUR Saboteurs - with the right goals

Just like Sam, your inner saboteurs may be sabotaging your ability to set and achieve goals that truly matter to you. By identifying which saboteurs are influencing your mindset, you can start to adjust your approach and set goals that align with your unique strengths and challenges

Saboteurs matched with best goal setting strategies to mitigate their impact

So, what can you do to align your goals to combat your saboteur’s tendencies?

1. Identify your saboteur(s): Start by reflecting on which saboteur resonates most with you. You might find that you experience multiple saboteurs in different contexts—this is perfectly normal.

2. Tailor your approach: Once you know your saboteur tendencies, use the strategies above to adjust your goal-setting process. For example, if you're a Hyper-Vigilant, the WOOP method combined with visualisation exercises can help you focus on positive outcomes instead of obsessing over potential obstacles.

3. Take small steps: No matter which saboteur you’re dealing with, small, consistent steps are key. The 1% Rule and micro-habits work wonders in building momentum while keeping you focused on progress rather than perfection.

4. Engage support: Whether it’s a trusted accountability partner or a team member, sharing your goals with others can provide the encouragement and feedback necessary to stay on track.

By using this saboteur-centric approach, you can create a goal-setting process that works for YOU—one that acknowledges your unique challenges and leverages your strengths.

Ready to discover how your saboteurs may be affecting your goals?

Take the PQ assessment today to uncover which saboteurs are hindering your goal-setting process. Once you know what’s getting in your way, you can start using tailored strategies to set and achieve goals that align with your strengths and values. Drop me a note with your results and we can arrange a complimentary consultation

What do you do if goal setting doesn’t work for you (or someone in your team)?

Have you ever set big, ambitious goals only to find yourself feeling deflated a few months later when you're nowhere near achieving them? I certainly have. At the start of my financial year in September, I set a series of goals that felt exciting and inspiring at the time. But by Christmas, several of those goals were way off track. Instead of feeling motivated to push forward, I felt defeated, like giving up entirely.

Over coffee with a friend, I confessed my frustration. I was expecting words of encouragement or a pep talk about staying the course. Instead, she said something that stopped me in my tracks: "Don’t focus on goals, then, if they don’t work for you."

It was so simple, yet so profound. And it was exactly what I needed to hear. For the first time, I realised that while goals can be powerful tools for some people, they’re not a one-size-fits-all solution. That conversation spurred me to reflect deeply on why goals weren’t working for me and, more importantly, how I could adapt my approach to better suit my personality and tendencies.

Through this reflection, I came to see that some of the obstacles I was facing were linked to my own tendencies. For example, my habit of feeling overwhelmed by goals that seem too far from my current state made it hard to stay motivated. Others I know, however, thrive when they have a big goal to aim for—once they set their sights on something, nothing stops them.

This realisation led me to explore how different people’s tendencies impact their ability to set and achieve goals.

That exploration helped me identify alternative approaches to traditional goal setting that can be adapted to suit different personalities. So here are a few strategies to consider:

Adaptive Goal-Setting Strategies

1. The 1% Rule: Focus on making small, incremental improvements each day. Instead of aiming for a big leap, prioritise consistent, manageable progress.

2. WOOP Method: Use this framework—Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan—to align your goals with realistic actions and prepare for potential challenges.

3. Three Horizons: Balance short-term priorities, medium-term projects, and long-term vision to stay motivated and avoid feeling overwhelmed.

4. Daily Non-Negotiables: Identify one or two simple actions you commit to every day to build momentum and reinforce habits.

5. Value-Driven Goals: Anchor your goals in what truly matters to you. This helps maintain motivation, especially when challenges arise.

6. Micro-Habits: Break down goals into tiny, achievable steps. For example, instead of "exercise more," start with "walk for 10 minutes each day."

7. Accountability Partners: Share your goals with someone who can encourage and support you, helping you stay on track.

8. Reflection Cycles: Set aside regular times (e.g., weekly or monthly) to evaluate progress, adjust goals, and celebrate wins.

9. Visualisation: Spend time imagining the positive outcomes of achieving your goals to reinforce motivation and create clarity.

Taking an Adaptive Approach as a Manager

As a manager, understanding the unique tendencies of your team members can be a game-changer. Some team members may thrive with ambitious, clearly defined goals, while others may prefer to focus on smaller, habit-based actions. By observing and engaging in open conversations about what works best for each individual, you can help them unlock their full potential.

For example:

• A team member who feels overwhelmed by big goals might benefit from breaking them into smaller milestones or focusing on daily habits.

• Someone who gets easily distracted might do better with shorter reflection cycles to keep them focused and engaged.

• Another who thrives on results might respond well to goals anchored in their values and paired with regular check-ins to measure success.

The start of a new year or quarter is a natural time for reflection and planning. But before diving into goal setting, take a step back. Consider your own tendencies and those of your team. Are your current approaches working, or are they leaving you feeling deflated and defeated, as mine did? By aligning your strategies with your unique tendencies, you can create a more effective, sustainable approach to achieving meaningful progress—both for yourself and your team.

And if traditional goals don’t work for you?

That’s okay too. As my friend said, sometimes the best strategy is to "not focus on goals." Instead, focus on building systems, habits, or intentions that align with your values and bring out your best. The path to success isn’t a straight line, and there’s no one right way to walk it.

Look out for my next blog where I’ll talk about how your saboteurs may be getting in the way of setting and reaching your goals!

Why I’m Choosing Hope Over Predictions for 2025

As we head into the final stretch of 2024, I’m feeling bombarded with predictions about the future.

• What will 2025 hold for the research industry

• What changes will impact our workplaces

• What AI tools will dominate next

And you know what, as researchers, of course we are trained to observe trends, spot patterns, analyse data, and try to make educated guesses about what’s next.

But here’s the thing: even with all our expertise, we can’t truly predict the future.

So, this year, I’m choosing not to focus on predictions.

Instead, I’m setting intentions and embracing hopes for what’s to come.

And I’d like to share them with you—because, after all, it’s not the predictions that will shape our future, but the actions we take to build it.

1. Careers rooted in purpose and fulfillment

In 2025, I hope you’ll find even more meaning in your work.

The research industry is dynamic, but it can also be challenging. I’ve experienced firsthand how easy it is to become bogged down by deadlines, metrics, and the demands of clients or stakeholders.

Too many years of operating like this causes you to question a career you once used to love. A common question I hear from clients is “What is the point of what I am doing?”

And yet, when you reconnect with the core of why you do what you do—whether it’s the curiosity of discovery, the power of data-driven decision-making, or the opportunity to bring together your team for the collective good and shape important change—that’s when the real magic happens.

So I hope you’ll take a moment this year to ask yourself: What drives me? What inspires me about my work? Let that purpose be your guide to making tweaks and changes as needed in your career.

In a world filled with constant change, I believe that purpose is what will keep you grounded, focused, and passionate about your career. And I know that employees who share purpose with their organisation are more committed, stay longer and make a bigger impact.

2. Commitment to workplace wellbeing

Now I realise I have a bit of a skewed perception of whats going on when it comes to workplace wellbeing….

And thats because a decent section of clients come to get my support exactly because their workplace wellbeing has been neglected. I hear first hand the difficult situations on projects going off the rails with no support in sight, overwhelming schedules that feel impossible to break out from and the disappointment of colleagues who don’t appear to pull their weight.

Of course this is not the case for everyone or even every team or organisation, but I know for every client who takes the plunge to work with me on managing their stress, burnout and overwhelm, there are many who are not (and perhaps even facing it alone).

My wish is that no one suffers this kind of challenge by themselves

Because while the industry only seems to be gaining pace, it’s easy to forget that we’re human beings with limits, not just professionals chasing deadlines.

Your well-being is the foundation for your ability to perform at your best, think creatively, and lead with empathy.

So this hope for 2025 is that we collectively prioritise well-being—whether that means taking mental health breaks, creating supportive work environments, setting healthy boundaries to avoid overwork and bringing more fun and enjoyment into our work.

I hope that both you as a leader (and your organisation) commit to fostering environments where mental and emotional health are just as important as meeting targets. I truly believe that when we put people first, we see the results and successes come as a result.

3. The courage to innovate and thrive

Its been astonishing to me this year to see the pace of change in the research industry (and it shows no signs of slowing down!).

New technologies, methods, and approaches are constantly emerging.

• There are new AI tools and trainings aplenty

• There are debates and discussions about ethical usage

• There are those standing up & pushing back on the limits of machine vs human insights

Even keeping abreast of all this, for many of us, can feel daunting—especially when we’re already stretched thin.

But here’s what I hope for 2025: that you and your organisation will embrace change with curiosity and confidence.

Instead of feeling overwhelmed by disruption, I hope you’ll approach it as an opportunity to innovate and grow.

It takes courage to step into the unknown, but that’s where the most exciting possibilities lie.

This year, let’s focus on staying agile, remaining open to new ideas, and knowing that we can thrive through change, rather than be paralysed by it.

The Sweet Spot Between High Performance and Happiness

These hopes I have outlined are more than just dreams—they’re the foundation for creating that elusive sweet spot between high performance and happiness.

The truth is, we don’t have to sacrifice one for the other.

It’s possible to perform at your best, meet the demands of your role, and be present for the people you care about. It’s about balancing ambition with well-being, success with fulfilment, and growth with personal joy.

If you’re ready to explore how you can navigate this balance for yourself or your team, I’d love to connect.

Whether it’s leadership coaching, team development, or mental fitness strategies, I’m here to support you in building the future you want—one that is rooted in purpose, well-being, and resilience.

You might want to consider reaching out if you'd like to have a conversation about creating this sweet spot for yourself, your team, or your organisation.

Let’s make 2025 a year where we set intentions, embrace change, and support each other in becoming the best versions of ourselves—personally and professionally.

With love, hope and gratitude for a wonderful year ahead! x

Managing Expectations: how to deal when reality doesn’t match the plan

Have you ever imagined how something would go—a job, a trip, a conversation—and found yourself utterly unprepared when it didn’t meet your expectations? We all create mental blueprints for how things should unfold, and when reality doesn’t follow the plan, it can leave us feeling frustrated, disappointed, or even stuck.

This week, I’ve been reflecting on the art of managing expectations—not erasing them but learning how to handle the gap between what we hope for and what actually happens.

Let me share a few moments from my life where expectations didn’t quite align with reality and what I’ve learned along the way…

1. Start by Checking in with Yourself

Sometimes, our expectations are crystal clear—anchored by promises or guarantees. Other times, they’re hazy, based on assumptions or wishful thinking.

On a recent trip, I was excited for a week of spiritual and personal growth. I envisioned quiet moments of reflection, journaling, and perhaps a little soul-searching. What I got instead was something entirely different—an adventurous, fast-paced experience with spontaneous challenges that tested me in ways I hadn’t anticipated. At first, I felt out of sorts, clinging to my unmet vision. But stepping back, I asked myself: What did I actually expect? Where did those expectations come from?

This kind of self-check-in is powerful. Ask yourself:

• Were my expectations based on promises, or did I assume things would naturally go a certain way?

• Is my upset tied to a real breach of trust or just a mismatch between hope and reality?

• What about this situation is really bothering me?

2. Accept Your Feelings with Compassion

When expectations aren’t met, it’s natural to feel hurt, disappointed, or even angry. Allow yourself to feel those emotions without judgment.

Recently, I faced frustrating challenges with a rental property I own. I expected quick and thoughtful communication from the management team, but instead, I received vague, incomplete updates that left me unable to make decisions. My frustration quickly spiraled into annoyance at myself for having relied on them in the first place. But suppressing those feelings only made things worse.

Instead, I gave myself permission to sit with the frustration and acknowledge it. “Of course, I’m upset,” I told myself. “This is a difficult situation, and I’m doing my best to navigate it.” By allowing space for my feelings, I could approach the problem with more clarity.

3. Clarify What You Really Need

When your expectations are unmet, it can be easy to focus on what’s wrong. But underneath the frustration lies an important question: What do I really need from this situation?

In a job I had years ago, I expected regular mentorship and clear guidance from my boss. But over time, I realised that just simply wasn’t going to happen. Once I got past the disappointment, I asked myself: What do I actually need to succeed here?

In fact, it wasn’t micromanagement or regular check ins that simply share updates—what I was looking for was constructive feedback and occasional check-ins. Recognising that, I took ownership and scheduled those check-ins myself, with my boss and others whose input on my progress I valued, and that helped bridge the gap.

Reflecting on what you need helps shift your focus from what’s missing to what’s actionable.

4. Collaborate on Solutions

Once you’ve clarified your needs, it’s time to communicate. This might mean discussing your concerns with a boss, a partner, or even a travel companion to co-create solutions.

During my recent trip, I found myself feeling slightly off-kilter. I’d been expecting long periods of downtime, meaningful interactions and supportive encouragement - but the pace didn’t allow for it. Instead of stewing in disappointment, I had a conversation with a fellow traveler about how to incorporate quieter moments. Together, we brainstormed ways to balance the high-energy activities with a bit more calm—and I took a few things into my own hands by skipping a few activities - and it made all the difference.

Collaborating doesn’t just solve problems; it often fosters a deeper connection with others involved.

5. Advocate for Yourself (and others too)

Sometimes, unmet expectations reveal bigger issues that need addressing—not just for yourself but for others too. These moments can be opportunities to step up and make a difference, even if the results don’t fully align with your hopes.

In one role, I was disheartened by the lack of support for women in the organisation. I’d expected a more inclusive environment but found myself grappling with systemic inequalities, particularly in pay and advancement opportunities. Instead of letting the disappointment consume me, I decided to act.

I volunteered my analytical skills to gather insights on gender disparities within the company. What started as a personal effort evolved into a white paper outlining tangible steps the organisation could take to create more equity. I also used the momentum of a company-wide initiative to advocate for several of my female colleagues to have their pay aligned with male counterparts in similar roles.

Not all the changes I proposed were implemented, and the process didn’t always yield the results I’d hoped for. But I learned that taking action—even in imperfect circumstances—can plant the seeds for long-term impact. It was a powerful reminder that while we can’t control everything, we can contribute to meaningful change when we step up and speak out.

When advocating for yourself, be clear and constructive. If change isn’t possible, consider whether it’s time to move on.

The Bottom Line

Life rarely goes exactly as planned. Whether it’s a trip, a job, or a relationship, managing expectations isn’t about lowering your standards—it’s about staying resilient and resourceful when reality takes an unexpected turn.

By checking in with yourself, accepting your feelings, clarifying your needs, collaborating on solutions, and advocating for change when necessary, you can navigate those moments with grace—and maybe even find new opportunities in the process.

Have unmet expectations taught you something valuable recently? I’d love to hear your thoughts

Let’s explore how you can put your saboteurs under control and begin balancing as a more confident, resilient, and empowered leader.

Balancing Work, Relationships, and Wellness: A Reality Check

Not long ago, I caught up with an old friend, and we ended up reflecting on a chapter of my life when I was, to put it mildly, overcommitted.

My world revolved around work, and almost everything else took a back seat.

I’d often miss out on planned spa weekends, arrive embarrassingly late to dinners, and find myself constantly apologising with the usual “work was just mad today” excuse.

Back then, I felt ridiculously busy all the time.

I’d think, “I’ve just got too much on,” believing it was the demands of my team, clients, and bosses pulling me in all directions.

Rarely did I pause to consider the knock-on effect of that constant busyness on the people around me—or even on my own health.

A part of me would feel guilty about the lateness or the cancellations, but I’d brush it off as “just the way I am.”

Looking back now, I can see that my busyness was less about others’ demands and more about my own inability to say “no.”

I didn’t want to let anyone down, so I’d agree to take on extra projects, push myself to meet deadlines a day early, and rarely ask if I was sacrificing too much of myself. I thought that saying “yes” to everything was the key to success.

Real success—true fulfilment—requires balancing

It’s not about staying in a constant state of equilibrium, which is nearly impossible.

Instead, it’s a process of constantly adjusting to make space for work, relationships, and wellness. When we allow one area to take over completely, we miss out on the richness that comes from nurturing all three.

If you’re wondering whether you’re in the midst of your own juggle, here are a few questions to reflect on. Think of them as a quick pulse check for the three key areas of life: work, relationships, and wellness.

1. Work Performance

• Are you feeling fulfilled by your work, or does it often leave you feeling drained?

• Do you find time to reflect and reset during the week, or does it feel like you’re constantly rushing to the next task?

• Are you reaching your professional goals without sacrificing other areas of your life?

2. Relationships

• How present are you in your relationships with family, friends, and colleagues?

• When was the last time you enjoyed time with loved ones without watching the clock or thinking about work?

• Do the people in your life feel they can rely on you, and do you feel that same support in return?

3. Personal Wellness

• Are you making time for activities that genuinely replenish your energy—whether that’s exercise, hobbies, or simply rest?

• How often do you feel calm and centred, as opposed to constantly stressed or stretched too thin?

• Are you tuned into your own needs and able to prioritise self-care without guilt?

Balancing these areas isn’t about perfection or saying “no” to everything that comes your way.

It’s about making intentional choices that allow each of these parts of life to thrive.

I’m still late for things now and then, but it’s no longer because I’m juggling too much—it’s just my optimism that I can get ready and across town in record time (something I’m still working on!).

Let’s explore how this can work for you

The journey to balancing is ongoing, and it starts with small steps.

Take a moment to ask yourself these questions, and be honest with your answers.

Balancing isn’t about fitting everything in; it’s about finding the harmony that brings fulfilment to every part of your life.If you’re ready to get your own reality check and explore how you can start balancing better, I invite you to book a free discovery session with me.

During our call, we’ll discuss your goals and challenges, and see how PQ training can help you unlock your full potential.

Let’s explore how you can put your saboteurs under control and begin balancing as a more confident, resilient, and empowered leader.

Facing Our Fears: The Spooky Saboteurs That Hold Us Back

Halloween brings out all kinds of spookiness, but some of the scariest things we face aren’t the ghosts or monsters outside—they’re the ones in our own minds. Our fears and self-imposed limits can be the “haunting” forces that keep us from reaching our full potential.

For me, Halloween isn’t just a time for costumes and candy; it’s a time to reflect on the fears that have lingered in the shadows of my professional life.

Today, I'm facing one of those fears head-on by sharing this post, fully aware that my usual “serious” coaching tone might be replaced with something a bit more playful.

My own saboteurs (or as I call them today, my “spooky saboteurs”) have plenty to say about this risk. So let’s dive into how facing fears can set us free and why it’s worth confronting the thoughts that limit us—even if they’re as spooky as Halloween itself.

What happens when we don’t face our fears?

Fear is natural, but when left unchecked, it grows.

It becomes like a monster hiding in the closet, waiting to jump out anytime we think about stepping outside our comfort zone.

Our fears influence our actions, shaping our habits and behaviours in subtle, often subconscious ways.

For instance, one of my longstanding fears has been around judgment—especially from my colleagues or clients. I want to be seen as a serious, professional coach who adds value and inspires growth, so there’s always been an inner caution against doing anything that might seem “silly” or undermine that image.

But here’s the catch: the more we avoid something out of fear, the stronger that fear becomes...

This is how fears turn into limiting beliefs, convincing us that we have to be a certain way to be successful or respected. For me, it created a belief that if I let my guard down or had fun, it would come at the expense of professionalism. The result? I’ve sometimes been overly strict or cautious in how I show up, afraid to let my more playful side shine through.

Enter the Spooky Saboteurs

In the Positive Intelligence (PQ) framework, these kinds of limiting beliefs and negative inner voices are known as saboteurs. They’re like the shadowy figures in our minds, always ready to whisper doubt, fear, or criticism. In the spirit of Halloween, I’ve given these saboteurs a “spooky” makeover, creating AI versions of them that reveal just how intimidating they can feel!

Each of these saboteurs has an agenda: to keep me “safe” by reminding me of what could go wrong. But they do this at the cost of joy, creativity, and connection. The truth is, they’re not actually protecting me—they’re just creating barriers. PQ teaches us that recognising these saboteurs and naming them weakens their hold, allowing us to replace their criticisms with more supportive, empowering voices.

Take a glance at the 9 saboteur profiles below and see which ones you recognise - maybe in yourself or even in others (as we ALL have saboteurs!)

And, if you’re familiar with he PQ framework, can you guess which of this spooky saboteurs lines up with the original version?

Enjoyment: the antidote to fear

One of the most powerful ways to dismantle a limiting belief is to focus on enjoyment around the thing you fear or tell yourself you cannot do.

Enjoyment isn’t just a pleasant state—it’s an antidote to fear. When we embrace enjoyment, we disrupt the voice of our saboteurs. They can’t stand it when we’re immersed in the present moment or appreciating our work because it undermines their power.

By intentionally focusing on enjoyment, I’ve found that I’m able to show up more genuinely, connect better with others, and let go of the constant need for control or caution. And that is exactly what happened while I was creating those spooky interpretations of the saboteurs and their images!

For me, embracing fun and playfulness means I can connect with my clients on a human level. It means letting down my guard to show the more colourful aspects of my personality, even if the Judge thinks it’s risky.

I’m learning to trust that enjoyment and professionalism can go hand in hand—that being relaxed and genuine doesn’t take away from the value I offer. It enhances it.

Facing your fears today

So, here I am, facing my fear by sharing this Halloween-themed post with all its spooky saboteurs. By putting this out there, I’m embracing a part of myself that I’ve kept hidden, challenging the belief that enjoyment and professionalism can’t coexist.

This is me showing up fully and authentically, proving that the only thing standing in our way is often just our own perception.

Today, I invite you to take a look at your own saboteurs and see which fears they’re feeding off.

Are there any beliefs that have kept you in a box, limited your joy, or held you back from sharing your whole self?

This Halloween, let’s confront our inner ghosts, give them a name, and start to enjoy the freedom that comes with facing our fears.

Happy Halloween—may your spooky saboteurs be a little less scary and a lot less powerful. 🎃

Let’s explore how this can work for you

If you’re ready to face your own fears and confront your inner spooky saboteurs, I invite you to book a free discovery session with me. During our call, we’ll discuss your goals and challenges, and see how PQ training can help you unlock your full potential.

Let’s explore how you can put your spooky saboteurs under control and become a more confident, resilient, and empowered leader.

The Leadership Shift: How PQ Training Can Elevate Your Impact

As a leader in today’s fast-paced research and insights industry, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the demands of your role. Whether you're managing team dynamics, navigating growth, or implementing a big change in your company or team, the pressure and the juggle is real.

But what if there’s a way to handle it all with more confidence, ease and clarity?

That’s where Positive Intelligence (PQ) mental fitness training comes in. PQ helps leaders strengthen their mental fitness, empowering them to handle challenges with greater confidence, resilience, and focus. Over the years, I’ve worked with professionals who started out feeling uncertain and overwhelmed—but through PQ, and my support, they unlocked new levels of performance and fulfilment.

Not only did they experience greater success at work, in many cases the benefits extended to their home lives too - with more time to spend with friends and family

Below, you’ll find a case study of Angela, a client of mine who’ve used PQ training to transform their leadership, build trust, and uplift themselves and their teams.

You could say she worked on finding the sweet spot between high-performance and happiness...

The Results Speak for Themselves

While Angela’s story and set of challenges is unique, she is not alone!

PQ training isn’t just about feeling better—it’s about real, measurable change. Research shows that building mental fitness can increase performance, reduce stress, and enhance relationships. Participants also report increased creativity, focus, and a deeper ability to lead through challenges.

Some of the key benefits of working on your mental fitness include:

• For the business: develop people who are

  • 92% better at team-work and collaboration

  • 84% better at conflict management

  • 76% better able to develop others

• For the individual: less stress more confidence, enjoyment

  • 90% use mental and emotional energy more effectively

  • 85% improve self confidence

  • 83% improve happiness

Why Self-Love is the Key

On a personal note, my own journey of self-love and growth over the past nine months has transformed how I support my clients. Embracing self-love has helped me show up with more energy, resilience, and focus. When we prioritise our own well-being, we not only become better leaders but also inspire those around us to do the same. That’s why I feel called to offer this opportunity to you.

The PQ program is more than just professional growth—it’s about creating a mindset shift that can elevate your confidence, energy, and leadership impact.

Let’s Explore How This Can Work for You

If you’re ready to experience a rapid boost in your leadership abilities while reducing stress and creating more balance, I invite you to book a free discovery session with me. During our call, we’ll discuss your goals and challenges, and see how PQ training can help you unlock your full potential.

Let’s explore how you can become a more confident, resilient, and empowered leader.

The Power of Taking on a Challenge: Reflections on 20 Years in the Insights Industry

After two decades in the insights industry, I’ve learned that the greatest catalyst for growth often comes from the challenges we dare to take on. Whether it’s stepping into a new role, embracing an unfamiliar responsibility, or even something as simple as sharing "20 lessons in 20 days," these moments of challenge are what ignite motivation, courage, and self-belief.

As I look back over the past 20 years, each phase of my career has presented me with its own set of obstacles, opportunities, and rewards. It wasn’t always a straight line, but it was the challenges I embraced along the way that ultimately shaped my journey.

Here are 20 lessons I’ve learned throughout my career, each a reflection of those pivotal moments that have propelled me forward.

1/20 - Don’t Rush Through Your Career
In the early days, it’s easy to feel pressure to move fast—climb the ladder, hit milestones, reach goals. But I’ve come to realize that each phase of your career offers something unique. Don’t rush through it; enjoy the process. Success and learning opportunities are found in every chapter.

2/20 - Persevere, Even Through Setbacks
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is to put self-judgment aside. No matter how difficult a setback feels in the moment, you can always learn, grow, and push forward. Don’t let bumps in the road derail your journey.

3/20 - Have a Clear Vision
It’s crucial to know where you want to go. Even if your vision is fuzzy at first, clarity comes over time. Keep refining it as you learn more about yourself, your work, and your goals. Regularly check in with yourself to ensure you're on the right course.

4/20 - Find Fulfillment in What Lights You Up
Pay attention to the tasks, projects, and moments that energize you. It’s often the work that feels most impactful and meaningful that also brings the greatest fulfillment. When you find this alignment, you’ll discover a deeper sense of purpose in your career.

5/20 - Be Kind to Yourself During Transitions
Career changes can be unsettling, but they’re also full of opportunity. Be kind to yourself during periods of uncertainty and empathize with those who may be impacted. Move forward one small step at a time.

6/20 - Learn from Experience
Older colleagues and mentors hold a wealth of experience that can shortcut your path to success. Be open to learning from their wisdom—it can save you time, energy, and help you avoid unnecessary mistakes.

7/20 - Keep an Open Mind and Be Bold
Throughout my career, some of the most rewarding experiences came from taking bold steps and staying open to unexpected opportunities. Don’t be afraid to take risks. You might just find yourself in a place that’s better than you ever imagined.

8/20 - Mentorship is a Two-Way Street
Whether you’re the mentor or the mentee, the exchange of knowledge and support is invaluable. Mentorship is one of the most fulfilling aspects of any career—it enriches both parties and creates a ripple effect of growth and learning.

9/20 - Balance Empathy and Authority
As a leader, balancing empathy with authority is key to fostering growth. Prioritize your team’s development, even if it means short-term discomfort. Use data-driven feedback to build trust and embrace the challenges that lead to long-term success.

10/20 - Don’t Forget to Enjoy the Work
We’re not here just to hit targets and deliver insights. It’s okay—essential, even—to have fun and enjoy what you do. When you bring joy to your work, it shows in the quality of your output and the energy you bring to your team.

11/20 - Embrace Lifelong Learning
The skills that brought you success in the past may not be what you need for the future. Stay open to learning new things and be willing to evolve. Balancing your existing knowledge with fresh insights is the key to continuous growth.

12/20 - Own Your Mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes—owning them is part of the growth process. But don’t let them own you. Learn from them, adapt, and move forward without letting them define your future.

13/20 - Stay Curious in Leadership
Transitioning to a bigger role isn’t just about managing more people. It’s about adapting your leadership style, staying curious, and empowering others. Listening deeply and asking the right questions can help you and your team rise together.

14/20 - Feedback is an Art
Effective feedback is a balance between boldness and mindfulness. Leaders often fall into two camps—those who shy away from feedback to avoid discomfort and those who deliver it too bluntly. Finding the sweet spot is critical to fostering trust and development in your team.

15/20 - Letting Go is Key to Growth
Learning to let go and delegate is one of the toughest lessons, especially for those of us with perfectionist tendencies. Start small, build trust in your team, and let go of control. You’ll not only thrive but see your team flourish as well.

16/20 - Curiosity is Your Superpower
In times of stress or when stepping into a new role, tap into your researcher’s superpower: curiosity. Asking the right questions can alleviate pressure and open up new pathways for growth. Curiosity fuels learning and innovation.

17/20 - Bring Your Team Along for the Journey
When leading a team through change, it’s essential to bring them with you. Create a shared vision that everyone can believe in. Success isn’t just about setting direction; it’s about ensuring your team feels part of the journey and the vision.

18/20 - Leaders, Take Care of Yourself Too
It’s easy to focus on your team’s well-being and forget your own. But remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Put on your own oxygen mask first—when you thrive, your team will too.

19/20 - Success is About the Journey
While reaching goals is important, true success lies in the journey. It’s about the relationships you build, the people you impact, and the growth you experience along the way. Don’t just focus on the destination; enjoy the ride.

20/20 - Challenge Yourself Often
Finally, never stop challenging yourself. Big or small, every challenge sparks new growth, deepens self-belief, and lights the path forward. Challenges ignite motivation and open doors to opportunities you never expected.

As I look back on these 20 years, I’m reminded of how powerful it is to challenge yourself. Taking on this “20 lessons in 20 days” challenge was a small way to reignite my passion for what I do—helping others grow, sharing knowledge, and creating community through platforms like LinkedIn.

It’s reminded me of the joy I find in this work and why I continue to love being part of the insights industry.

What milestones have you hit or challenges have you taken on recently, and how have they helped you grow? I’d love to hear your stories!

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Six Months of Self Love - and how it changed me for the better

Self-love and self-compassion are essential for overall well-being.

Self-love is the regard for one's own well-being and happiness, involving self-acceptance, self-care, self-respect, positive self-talk, and self-improvement.

Self-compassion is about treating yourself with the same kindness, understanding, and support you would offer to a friend.

It involves self-kindness, recognising our common humanity, and mindfulness.

Why Self-Love is Important

Practicing self-love and self-compassion can reduce anxiety, depression, and stress, build resilience, improve relationships, and enhance overall happiness and fulfillment. Establishing a strong foundation of self-worth separate from professional achievements and external validation is crucial for a balanced and meaningful life.

My Journey: In January this year, I embarked on a journey to prioritise self-love and compassion. My focus had been so much on my external world—how others perceived me, my business success—that I had lost touch with myself. I felt dead inside, with nothing lighting me up and no idea who I was, let alone what direction I wanted to go in. This journey, guided by my coach Patricia, has brought profound changes to my life.

The Beginning: One of our first activities was creating a "self-love cave," a mental and emotional space where I could be entirely myself—safe, strong, and courageous. This concept became a cornerstone of my journey, a place to return to for comfort and strength.

Since creativity was part of my self love cave, I decided to take the brief sketch I had made, and transformed it into an artwork, with the power of MidJourney (and AI visualisation tool) and my own creative swirls and lettering (see image above).

It has proven to be a very powerful visual reminder to me, especially when I wobbled at various times!

Beyond creating the image of my self love cave, I knew that there was lots of inner work to do, but I felt safe under Patrica’s guidance since her journey had been very simialr to mine in so many ways.

We tackled my pleaser saboteur tendency to put everyone else first, and my avoider sabotur that was sooo much more present than I realised, and I became a pro at spotting when my victim was bringing too much fo the “woe is me” energy and getting in my own way

And alongside this, I did some very practical things for myself…

My personal steps to Self-Love

1. Prioritising Health and Fitness: Having always neglected myself in this way, I committed to four exercise sessions a week, making them non-negotiable in my schedule. I paired these sessions with social activities, working out with friends to enhance both my physical and social well-being.

2. Improving Finances: Since becoming a coach and changing careers, I’ve lost a steady income - and that had damaged my self worth - but I often avoided the issue. Now I chose to take a good hard look at my finances, creating a clear plan to manage my money better. This clarity reduced financial stress and allowed me to enjoy life more fully.

3. Reducing Social Media Time: Having spent a year posting on LinkedIn nearly every day, I realised how draining it was for me to be in the cycle of comparison and creator mode. So I cut down on social media, focusing instead on impactful, in-person interactions. This shift reduced my feelings of inadequacy and allowed me to connect more genuinely with others.

Key Insights:

• Understanding What Energises and Drains Me: I learned to identify activities that drained my energy and replaced them with those that uplifted me.

• Taking Risks and Trying New Things: With increased self-awareness, I felt more secure in taking small risks and trying new things without fear of failure affecting my self-worth.

How it changed me for the better

These six months of self-love have transformed my life. I've gained a deeper understanding of myself and built habits that support my well-being. This journey has not only improved my personal life but also set the stage for positive changes in my business.

Not only that, I accept self love will be a continual journey for me, but, I’m several steps further forward and now feel I can lead others on a similar path with great integrity

So, if you're feeling lost or overwhelmed, I highly recommend embarking on a self-love journey.

It has been profoundly transformative for me, and I believe it can be for you too.

I hope this blog post resonates with you and inspires you to start loving yourself a little more too - in your own way. If you would like to enhance your self love I’m here to help - consider checking out the programme here

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The Power of Communication: Talking to Others and Ourselves

Recently, I’ve been reflecting on the power of communication—both in how we communicate with others and, perhaps even more importantly, how we communicate with ourselves. 

Why is good communication important? 

Communicating with others is an imperative in all areas of life - and something that has fascinated researchers to understand what the impacts of good (and bad) communication are - a few examples

• Workplace Performance: A study by Salesforce found that 86% of employees and executives cite lack of collaboration and ineffective communication as the primary causes of workplace failures.

• Well-being: According to a survey by Mind Share Partners, employees who feel heard and understood by their managers are 62% less likely to experience burnout. Moreover, individuals who practice open and honest communication report a 50% decrease in feelings of isolation and loneliness.

• Relationships: The American Psychological Association notes that about 70% of couples attending communication-focused therapy report significant improvements in their relationship satisfaction.

And as compelling as those data points are, I’m sure you can recognise examples where you have wanted to communicate something well, and didn’t quite land your message and inadvertently pissed someone off - or perhaps where someone has communicated with you - yet it later transpires that you got the wrong end of the stick

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

– George Bernard Shaw

How we unintentionally self sabotage our communications 

Our communication can be significantly impacted by our internal saboteurs—those negative mental patterns that undermine our confidence and effectiveness. These saboteurs shape the way we interact with others and ourselves, often without us realizing it.

Take the Judge, for example. This primary saboteur criticizes us, others, or circumstances, fostering negative self-talk and judgmental attitudes that create a hostile communication environment. When the Judge is active, we might find ourselves overly critical of our own performance or unfairly harsh towards others, leading to strained interactions.

The Avoider is another common saboteur, causing us to shy away from difficult conversations. This tendency leads to unresolved issues and misunderstandings, as we might avoid addressing problems directly, hoping they will disappear on their own.

Then there's the Controller, which tries to dominate and control situations and people. This saboteur drives us to communicate in a way that is overbearing and stifling, often suppressing collaboration and mutual respect. Instead of fostering open dialogue, the Controller's influence makes communication feel more like a power struggle.

Understanding these saboteurs can help us recognise how they shape our communication patterns. By becoming aware of their influence, we can take steps to counteract them and foster more positive, effective interactions.

Positive Communication Techniques to Overcome Saboteurs

Effective communication is a vital skill that can be significantly hindered by our internal saboteurs. Here are some practical techniques to foster positive communication while addressing the language of saboteurs:

1. Replace Negative Self-Talk with Positive Affirmations

   • Saboteur Language: "I'm not good enough to handle this."

   • Positive Communication: Reframe your thoughts to focus on your strengths. Tell yourself, "I am capable and prepared to handle this challenge."

   • Practical Example: Before a big presentation, instead of dwelling on potential mistakes, remind yourself of your preparation and past successes. Say, "I’ve prepared thoroughly and am ready to share my knowledge."

2. Use "I" Statements to Express Your Needs and Feelings

   • Saboteur Language: "You never listen to me."

   • Positive Communication: Use "I" statements to take ownership of your feelings and reduce defensiveness in others. Say, "I feel unheard when our conversations are interrupted."

   • Practical Example: In a team meeting, instead of accusing a colleague of not paying attention, express, "I feel our ideas would be better communicated if we each had a chance to speak without interruptions."

3. Practice Active Listening

   • Saboteur Language: "They don't know what they're talking about."

   • Positive Communication: Engage fully in the conversation, listen to understand rather than to respond, and acknowledge the other person's point of view.

   • Practical Example: During a client discussion, instead of planning your rebuttal while they’re speaking, focus on their words. Reflect back what you’ve heard, like, "It sounds like you're concerned about the project's timeline. Let’s explore how we can address this."

4. Set Clear Boundaries with Kindness

   • Saboteur Language: "I have to do everything they ask, or they won't like me."

   • Positive Communication: Politely but firmly set boundaries to manage expectations and respect your limits.

   • Practical Example: When a colleague requests more of your time than you can spare, say, "I’d love to help, but I’m currently working on another priority. Can we schedule some time next week instead?"

5. Encourage Open Dialogue

   • Saboteur Language: "No one cares about my opinion."

   • Positive Communication: Foster an environment where open dialogue is encouraged, and all opinions are valued.

   • Practical Example: In team meetings, actively invite quieter team members to share their thoughts by saying, "I’d love to hear your perspective on this, Alex."

Effective communication, both with others and ourselves, is crucial for building confidence and maintaining healthy relationships. By recognising our saboteurs and practicing positive communication, we can enhance our performance, wellbeing and relationships.

Question prompts

• What patterns in your own communication do you notice?

• How often do your saboteurs influence your communcation style?

• What language or words do you use with yourself that you’d never use with others?

• And what small steps from above can you take today to work on better communication and connect more deeply with others?

I hope this blog post resonates with you and inspires you to start communicating more kindly and directly with yourself and others. If you would like to learn the tools of good mental fitness so you can enhance your communications I’d love to help - consider checking out the programme here

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Confidence: A Practice, Not a Destination

Last month, I traveled from Bahrain to the UK to attend Confidence Live!

It focused on themes like building confidence, being more resilient, and loving yourself more—all topics I frequently discuss and help my clients work on.

Even so, I still need my own motivational boosts from time to time, so I was sooo excited to attend! I hoped that being surrounded by inspiring speakers and like-minded individuals would be just the energiser I needed.

What is “confidence” anyway?

One of the things I took away from the event was the realisation that confidence is inherently flexible and ever shifting, even though many of us (including me!) would like it to be fixed and stable, something we can rely on as we approach new challenges and situations

In fact we ALL have an innate level of confidence that may only shine through in certain situations or under specific conditions, and its normal to have confidence in some areas and less in others (especially new things we are trying for the first time).

Confidence isn’t something you either have or don’t have; it’s a practice, a habit, a muscle you can grow.

Someone at the conference said confidence is a skill you can learn. While I partly agree, I believe confidence is more about practice and experience. It’s not separate from the activities you want to be confident in; it’s an integral part of the journey of becoming proficient in those activities.

Do you sabotage your own confidence?

One of my big ah-ha moments was how much my inner saboteurs have been interfering with my attempts to feel confident. Everything from having me pretend things I want to do are not that important to me, or pushing myself for more qualifications and certifications before I can take certain actions

Do you recognise any of these limiting your ability to grow confidence?

• The Avoider saboteur leads to inaction, keeping us from taking necessary steps forward.

• The Stickler saboteur demands perfection, causing us to hold back if things aren’t just right

• The Victim saboteur makes everything feel like things for us are harder or more difficult than for others

While we often attribute our lack of confidence to external surroundings and environment, the true challenge lies within. This is why embracing our inner sage wisdom —and being kind to ourselves for the fears we have while taking laser-focused, clear action on the first step—is the best way to build that confidence muscle.

The ‘No Silver Bullet’ Realisation

Part of me hoped that at the event I would learn a new nugget of information that would magically make everything click into place. But one of the biggest takeaways for me from Confidence Live was the realisation that there is no silver bullet for gaining confidence.

Although the presentations were wonderful, filled with vulnerability, brilliant storytelling, and unique perspectives, I realised that much of it wasn’t new news to me. This wasn’t a negative insight—instead, it reinforced that the fundamentals of building confidence remain the same.

Confidence doesn’t come from thinking, reading, or talking about it.

Confidence comes from doing, learning, and sometimes failing.

That’s where true confidence is built.

Courage Over Confidence

So this was the reminder I needed, that perhaps instead of waiting until I felt confident, what I really needed was the courage to take an action, or to ask for help to get moving

So my invitation to all of you is this:

Train yourself to be courageous instead of confident.

Start small, start safe, and set yourself up to learn and grow along the way.

You’re inner saboteurs will pop up with their unhelpful narratives (you expect that by now!) but you can firmly put them in their place and take that single, courageous first step!

Action Steps to Embrace Sage Courage:

• Identify Your Saboteurs: Recognise the specific negative patterns and thoughts holding you back.

• Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, acknowledging your fears without judgment.

• Set Small, Achievable Goals: Break down your larger goals into smaller, manageable steps to build momentum.

• Take Imperfect Action: Accept that progress is more important than perfection and take the first courageous step, however small.

• Reflect and Celebrate: Regularly pause to acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small.

Thank you as always, for being here, please take this as you own reminder that you have everything you need within you to take those small but courageous steps that will in fact lead to growing confidence.

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Celebrate Your Wins: The Power of Acknowledging Even Small Successes

When was the last time you paused to celebrate something you achieved?

Maybe it's been so long that you can’t even remember...

For many of us, celebrating our own success feels icky, as if we're showing off or lacking humility. Often, we think only big milestones deserve recognition, and smaller achievements slip by unnoticed.

I used to think like that too.

But I’ve had a 180-degree shift in my perspective.

Now, I challenge the notion that we must wait until we hit a significant milestone to celebrate our successes.

Instead, I believe we should normalise celebrating every small milestone along the way. Here’s why:

Why Celebrate Small Wins?

1. Building the Celebration Muscle: If we only reward ourselves for big achievements, we miss opportunities to practice self-appreciation. Celebrating small wins helps us get comfortable with acknowledging our efforts, so when we do reach a major milestone, it doesn’t feel alien to celebrate.

2. Avoiding Perpetual Goal-Post Moving: When we focus solely on the next big goal, we put ourselves in a perpetual state of feeling like we haven't done enough. This can lead to a constant sense of lack and postponing our happiness. By celebrating small wins, we appreciate our progress and break the cycle of endless striving.

3. Adaptability to Changing Goals: Goals often change along the way. If we haven’t celebrated the steps taken towards an initial goal, we miss the chance to acknowledge our hard work. Recognising small achievements keeps us motivated, even if the end goal evolves.

How to Celebrate Your Successes

1. Regularly Record and Celebrate Wins: Make it a habit to record and celebrate your wins. Some of my clients share their daily wins with me, while others do it weekly or at the start of our coaching sessions. This constant feedback loop helps internalise progress and boosts self-recognition.

2. Create a Rewards List: Make a list of rewards that are meaningful to you. These could be material items, experiences, or simple pleasures. When you reach a milestone, choose a reward from the list. It could be as simple as a book or as indulgent as a spa day. The key is that it should feel like a genuine reward for your efforts.

3. Proportional Rewards: Match your rewards to the effort and success achieved. For instance, I rewarded myself with a new pair of colorful earrings for speaking at a conference. They serve as a reminder of the doubts I overcame and now always make me smile when I wear them. When I reached a significant financial goal, I invested in a new MacBook, which marked a new era in my business. The rewards should feel proportional to the achievements, making them meaningful and motivating.

Practical Steps to Start Celebrating

• Daily Wins: At the end of each day, jot down a few things you achieved, no matter how small. It could be a productive meeting, a task completed, or even a positive interaction.

• Weekly Reflections: Dedicate time each week to reflect on your progress. What went well? What small steps did you take towards your bigger goals?

• Reward Yourself: Use your rewards list. At the end of the week, treat yourself to something enjoyable, knowing you are worthy of reward and appreciation for your effort as well as your progress. Remember, rewards don’t have to be extravagant—they just need to be significant to you.

A Personal Invitation

So, I invite you to start celebrating your small wins. Not only will they feel fun and enjoyable, they will help you grow confidence. Celebrate small, and set yourself up to learn and grow. Don’t wait to feel worthy of celebration—take a deep breath, muster the courage, and recognise the value in each step you take.

As I continue my journey of self-awareness and self-love, sharing these lessons with you is both cathartic for me and, I hope, inspiring for you.

Thank you for being here. Remember, you have everything within you to take those small but courageous steps that lead to growing confidence - and if you’d like my help with that, consider joining my 6 month programme where I would love to celebrate you and acknowledge you for all the progress along the way as your guide and accountability parter.

Here's to celebrating all our wins, big and small!

I hope this blog post resonates with you and inspires you to start celebrating your small successes. If you have any questions or need further guidance, feel free to reach out!

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Bye Bye Burnout : a researchers guide to thriving in work and life

Recently, I took to the stage at the Quirks London Conference to deliver a talk titled "Bye Bye Burnout: A Researcher's Guide to Thriving in Work and Life." The goal was simple: help others recognise the warning signs of burnout and intervene before reaching a breaking point.

My Own Burnout Story

I began the talk with a personal story about moving to New York, a city I had long dreamed of living in. However, this dream quickly turned into a nightmare due to a combination of high expectations, unhelpful tendencies, and a lack of support. With an extremely demanding client, absent bosses in another country, and an unrelenting workload, I found myself in a perfect storm. The excessive hours and constant stress led to emotional exhaustion and eventually, complete depletion.

My only option seemed to be leaving the job.

For years, I felt ashamed of this experience. I viewed it as a failure and was embarrassed that I couldn't cope. Returning from a city I loved was deeply upsetting, and I felt like I had let myself down. But sharing this story was more helpful than I ever imagined. It highlighted the epidemic of stress and burnout plaguing many organisations today.

The Perfect Storm of Burnout

Burnout often strikes when overwhelming workloads and unrelenting demands intersect with personal tendencies like perfectionism, people-pleasing, and rumination. For me, a healthy dose of imposter syndrome added fuel to the fire, preventing me from speaking openly about my struggles.

These vulnerable shares were the very things I tried to hide from my employers and team.

Practical Strategies for Avoiding Burnout

One of my core beliefs is that sharing stories is vital for learning. But sharing practical strategies is equally important. Here are three critical insights I shared during my talk:

1. Taking Care of Yourself

Managing stress starts with self-care.

This includes not only eating well, sleeping well, and engaging in physical fitness, but also prioritising mental fitness. Engaging in activities that promote mental well-being is crucial for preventing the emotional and physical exhaustion characteristic of burnout.

My six-week mental fitness training program offers tools to help calm your mind, intercept negative thoughts and bring a positive and constructive approach managing stress effectively.

2. Managing Energy, Not Just Time

Time is something we can never get back, but energy we CAN recharge

While its true that working long hours can lead to burnout, it's essential to manage your energy rather than just your time. Even a standard 40-hour workweek can be draining if the tasks you're doing don't align with your strengths and interests. I introduced a twist on the urgent-important matrix to help identify tasks that drain energy versus those that recharge you, and the example I shared from a client of mine demonstrated that when we do this, it not only gives us more energy at work, but outside work too. Magic!

3. Setting Boundaries and Recharging

What are you doing at the weekend?

Setting boundaries is crucial—stopping work at a certain time and not taking work home on weekends. However, it's equally important to recharge effectively. Like a phone that needs to recharge, we need activities that restore our energy.

Research has shown, that despite what we think about spending some time working over the weekend as a good way to either ‘catch up’ or to ‘get ahead’ it actually sets us back, significantly.

Instead putting mental distance between us and work is whats really needed. And some of the most restorative activities are social, physical, and creative. Whether it's seeing a friend, attending a party, engaging in physical exercise, or indulging in creative pursuits like writing, painting, or cooking, these activities help recharge our minds and bodies.

A Call to Action

If you've ever felt burned out or on the brink of burnout, I invite you to embrace the above strategies. They are a great start to giving yourself the permission to put yourself first, especially if you recognise some of these unhelpful tendencies in yourself and feel like you're in an environment that could exacerbate them.

I’ll be releasing details soon for a webinar on this topic, so if you would like to be notified about this, please consider signing up to my newsletter for the notification!

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Do not be scared to think (but don’t over do it either)

Have you ever noticed how the language and act of "thinking" often reigns supreme? In our education systems, in the world of work, certainly it’s needed in problem solving and decision making. As someone whose first career was in research and insights, I would say this is a critical skill, and is absolutely necessary to be good at those sort of jobs.

And it permeates in every area of life. For example in response to a question or request we are unsure of we automatically say “let me think about it” or “let me think it over”…

And while sometimes thinking is precisely what is needed, often we over use and rely on this skill and langiage as a default - and its limiting.

What if our need to rationalise and analyse everything is actually hindering our progress in the wider context of life?

From thoughts into words

Recently in a session with my coach, I laughed as I said “I think, I think, I think”

You see I’d been recounting my reaction to something that had happened, it was all about how I felt and how I experienced a new state that I was in. Thinking didn’t really come into it at all, and yet every part of the story I couched with “I think”

• I THINK I felt like it was a good experience for me

• I THINK what I learned was xyz

Every time I uttered the words “I think” I could feel a sense of hesitation into what I was sharing - like I wasn’t even sure of what I felt or what I learned, that maybe it could be seen to be right or wrong so I was hedging my bets

What I realised was that framing everything as a thought, was limiting my experience of it. My language was literally forcing my description to be far more narrow than it truly was in reality and inviting me to quetsion myself (and over think!) even more.

Maybe you can relate?

How often do you use “I think” when you are responding to a question or telling a story or sharing an experience? If you’re anything like me I bet it is peppered in there so much you don’t even realise it!

As a fun fact, when writing this blog, I’ve had to delete the words “I think” at least 7 times. That is just how engrained it is for me, and I’ve been practicing widening my vocabulary already!

Trying different language to break the spell

So how can we begin to shift our language and mindset away from "I think" and towards a more holistic approach to problem-solving?

It starts with paying attention to our words and their underlying implications.

Instead of saying, "I think we should do X," try reframing it as, "I learned from past experiences that Y might be worth considering," or "I felt a sense of clarity when I approached it from Z angle."

By inviting language that acknowledges our emotions, experiences, and intuition, we open ourselves up to a world of possibilities.

When I described it to my coach I said it felt like a “subtle spaciousness” that the language was giving more room to play and explore my full experince.

Expanding beyond thoughts

So if you expect that you over-use the language of “I think” too (especially to my fellow research and insights professionals) I invite you to spot how often it crops up.

No need to beat yourself up if and when you notice it, just acknowledge it and choose a different word to explain what you want to share. It wont feel that easy at first, but give it a try (and don’t over think it!)

Approach it as a fun challenge and see the subtle spaciousness and expansion that occurs when you widen your words beyond thoughts.

Embracing inner wisdom is as much about unlearning the habits we have developed over time, as it is about learning new ways and modes of being.

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Harnessing a 3:1 Ratio: Turning Negative Thoughts into Positive Action

Did you know that for every single negative thought we have, we need three positive thoughts to counteract its impact? At first glance, this might seem like a lot. But the reality is, our human brains are wired for negativity and so bringing that 3:1 ratio can take a bit of practice.

Argh - negative thoughts are everywhere!

Before you start practicing bringing more positive thoughts into your life - its easy for the negtive ones to keep cropping up, just like in these examples taken from some of my clients of late…

Imagine you're preparing for an important presentation at work. As you review your slides, a critical voice creeps in, whispering, "You're slides don’t look perfect, look at the different fonts as you flick through - how did you not spot this before?!" This self-criticism can quickly overshadow your confidence and undermine your abilities when its time to stand up and share your knowledge and expertise.

Imagine a meeting with your manager where they were showering you with praise for all the things you did well in a recent project, but there is ONE area to work on… You come out of that meeting worrying “You idiot, you always leave something to be desired, now you’ll never be good enough to get that next promotion”. This self-doubt can keep you up at night and hold yourself back from going for the promotion you want

And outside of work it can be just as easy to trigger these negative thoughts…

Imagine scrolling through Instagram, admiring posts from friends and colleagues. Suddenly, you start comparing yourself, thinking, "I'll never be as successful or happy as them. What's wrong with me?" This comparison leads to feelings of inadequacy and diminishes your sense of self-worth.

Breaking the negativity spiral

Maybe its obvious from those examples, but I’m going to say it anyway, these kind of negative thoughts have a profound impact on our emotions and ultimately our behaviours. They erode confidence, fuel self-doubt, and cloud our perception of reality.

What starts as a fleeting thought can quickly spiral into a pattern of negative self-talk... And once that spiral takes hold, it can be really hard to break out of.

So how do we break out of that negative thought spiral?

Firstly just knowing about the 3:1 positive to negative ratio is a good start! Being aware of this helps us consciously choose more positive thoughts, even when our mind is automatically veering towards the negative!

And the more and more we practice this effort over time, the stronger our positive thinking muscle grows and the easier it becomes to stay in that magic 3:1 ratio and think and feel more positive a lot of the time.

Cultivating a Three-to-One Ratio

So I’m inviting you to challenge yourself to cultivate a three-to-one ratio of positive to negative thoughts.

This doesn’t mean being “happy clappy” or bringing toxic positivity - it can look like

• Celebrating your wins, no matter how small

• Practicing self-compassion in moments of self-doubt

• Getting curious rather than self critical about things that went wrong

• Reframing worries and insecurities in the context of what it truly important in your life

• Creating innovative solutions to problems that you had never even considered by saying “what if…”

Bringing this intentional shift in mindset can lead to profound changes in how you perceive yourself and the world around you. It has the added benefit of helping you feel lighter, more positive, confident and able to tackle the challenges ahead of you with even greater ease.

Curious about your personal positivity level?

Maybe you don’t feel you are experiencing that many negative thoughts? Perhaps you are curious to see if there is a way to quantify this at all?

Well as a research turned coach, I love being able to measure things and see progress in numbers as well as more qualitative evidence.

If you're interested in learning what your personal positivity level is, consider taking the Positive Intelligence Assessment.

You’ll receive a single number score from 1-100 that explains the proportion of time you likely spend in positive vs negative thoughts. Anything over 75 means you are hitting that 3:1 ratio and will likely be facing life’s challenges with relative ease, most of the time (we all still have our moments or hit things so big its hard not to be shaken by)

Whatever your score is - remember its not a tool to beat yourself up with - its simple a benchmark and starting point from which to measure progress.

When I first took this assessment my PQ score was 38 (and that was after a lot of work on myself and thinking that I was a pretty positive person!). With the simple tools in the PQ programme and its engaging app helping me build greater mental fitness and positivity, within 6 months I was up at 65 - and let me tell you, I could REALLY feel the difference!

So if you do take the assessment and want to chat through your score and see what else mental fitness may be able to unlock for you, the you may want to consider booking a free discovery session with me to learn how I and the PQ system can support you in managing negative thoughts, inner saboteurs and cultivating more positivity and mental resilience.

Book a free consultation with me here

Riding beyond fear: transforming anxieties into joy with mindfulness

Deep breath iiiiiin, pause, deep breath out. Phew.

Sit up straight, engage my core, look straight ahead…

Annd again deep breath in, deep breath oooooout. Pheeeew.

Look straight ahead, notice the various colors, shades, and textures around me.

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

My little mantra

This was the little mantra running through my mind as I prepared for my first-ever horse riding experience. Until last week, I had never had the opportunity to ride a horse. The reason I found myself on horseback was due to my husband winning a horse riding experience in a raffle. Can you believe it!?

When my husband won the experience, I was thrilled! I love trying new things, exploring different parts of this beautiful island of Bahrain, and engaging in unique experiences. The opportunity to go horse riding ticked so many of those boxes, and I literally couldn't wait. In fact, I was so eager that I was pestering my husband to book the experience right away. However, as the experience day approached, I began to hear little saboteur voices in my head, worrying about what might happen.

The voice of my saboteurs intruded

Starting quietly they posed a few sneery questions to me:

"What if you don't like it?

“Worse, what if you can't do it?”

“Worse still, what if you fall off and get hurt, ending up in the hospital with a broken leg or back?"

My body started to tense up as my shoulders rose towards my ears. I realised I was biting the inside of my cheeks, one of my classic tells when I'm stressed.

As my husband casually prepared for our outing, looking up directions and getting ready to leave, my anxiety grew.

"Are you ready?" he innocently asked.

"Of course, I'm not ready!" I snapped back. "I only have this outfit to wear, and I'm not sure if it's right. There's no information on the website, except that riders must be under 100 kilograms. I threw away the scales months ago because weighing myself made me sad and mad. And so now I don't even know if I weigh less than 100 kilograms anymore."

He laughed, reassuring me, "Of course, you're less than 100 kilograms! Why are you even thinking about that? It will be fine. We're going to have a great time."

By this point, my saboteurs had taken hold, attacking me where they knew I was most vulnerable—my appearance and weight. I realised I needed a serious intervention to counter these destructive thoughts.

Calming my mind

As we got into the car, I explained to my husband that I needed to spend some time practicing my PQ reps. If you've been reading my posts for a while, you'll know that PQ reps are a way of commanding the mind. They help to gently bring back wandering thoughts to a focal point, whether it's the breath or a physical sensation like touching fingertips together.

Essentially, PQ reps are a form of meditation that allows you to take control of your thoughts.

So, during the car journey, I focused on my PQ reps, gradually calming the anxious thoughts stirred up by my saboteurs. I could feel the tension releasing from my shoulders as I practiced. I decided to show myself empathy for feeling nervous about trying something new. It was natural to have concerns, and I chose to replace my worries with kind, compassionate reframing.

"You bring courage to new situations and experiences," I told myself.

Upon arriving at the horse riding center, I immersed myself in the vibrant sights and sounds—beautiful horse colors, the smell of stables, and the lively chatter of fellow riders. I tapped into my inner wisdom, reassuring myself that everything would be okay, regardless of the outcome of this experience.

However, as we prepared to mount the horses, my anxiety resurfaced. What if I fell off? What if I couldn't handle it?

These thoughts overwhelmed me.

However, with the gentle encouragement of our guide, I managed to mount the horse and began to follow my PQ reps again.

Deep breath iiiiiin, pause, deep breath out. Phew.

Sit up straight, engage my core, look straight ahead…

Annd again deep breath in, deep breath oooooout. Pheeeew.

Look straight ahead, notice the various colors, shades, and textures around me.

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

For the first 10 to 15 minutes of riding, I focused solely on my breath and the environment around me.

This practice helped me calm down enough to truly enjoy the experience. As we reached the end of the trail and turned towards the beach, a stunning sight greeted us—sand stretching out before me, the sky turning a magnificent pink as the sun set, and the footprints of horses that had walked this path before us.

Now I was calm, I was filled with absolute joy and wonder at the beauty of the world around me.

By fully engaging my senses and being present in the moment, I was able to appreciate and enjoy the experience to the fullest. My initial anxieties transformed into a wide smile!

Personal reflections

As I reflect on my first horse riding experience, I realise that stepping out of my comfort zone was not just about riding a horse—it was about confronting my fears and saboteur voices head-on.

It taught me the importance of practicing self-compassion and empathy when facing new challenges.

By engaging in my PQ reps and shifting my focus to the present moment, I was able to transform anxiety into wonder and joy. This experience reminded me that growth often lies just beyond our fears, waiting to be embraced with curiosity and courage.

While new experiences like horse-riding are not part of everyones weekly challenges, but I do bet there are loads of things that might cause you to feel stressed, anxious, upset, worried or unhappy. Maybe its a tough meeting with your boss, or having to reprimand a teenager for their behaviour, or giving some growth feedback to a team member, or something else.

Whatever it is, I encourage you to consider how you can identify and manage your own anxieties and saboteurs.

Notice when self-doubt or fear creeps in, and instead of letting it take over, practice redirecting your thoughts with mindfulness techniques like PQ reps. Challenge negative self-talk with affirmations of self-compassion and courage.

Journalling and reflection prompts

• What situations trigger anxiety or self-doubt for you?

• How do you typically respond to these triggers?

• What self-compassionate practices can you incorporate to manage anxious thoughts?

• In what ways can you shift your focus from fear to curiosity in challenging moments?

Riding beyond fear

If you're curious about developing mental fitness and unlocking your highest potential in work and life, I invite you to explore PQ with me.

Book a free discovery session with me to learn how I and the PQ system can support you in managing your inner saboteurs and cultivating mental resilience.

No pressure or obligation, promise - just an hour of self discovery and insight!

Book a free consultation with me here

Letting go of the old (so that you can make space for the new)

Last week, I shared some thoughts on personal growth using the analogy of a rubber band—how we stretch ourselves into new spaces, sometimes snapping back (which was a huge point of frustration for me in the moment), yet I came to realise that having stretched before, I could always do so again.

Little did I know that last weeks woes would become a pretty pivotal moment of energetic clearing for me, making space for something new to open up.

The power of a good cleanse

Have you ever had a good cry, or a heart to heart with a friend - and then felt a whole lot better - even though your situation has not fundamentally changed?

Well that is the power of a good cleanse. Emotion is simply energy in motion and allowing those emotions to move through us (either through tears, or saying how we feel out loud) can shift a lot.

What I had not realised until I came to write this weeks blog, is that I’ve actually been cleansing a lot in the past month

• Cleaned my closet of things I no longer love or wear (if you want some pro advice on this please check out Samantha Harman, my amazing style coach whose method I followed!)

• Cleared out my office and desk - I had bits of paper everywhere, old random post its and a whiteboard that still had last some of last years goals on - hardly clear headed and laser focus on the action I want to create this year!

• Cleared out some old worries and truths with my husband in a session we lovingly call “truthbombing” each other - we shared some real corkers of how we were both feeling about work and life - and just like that both of us felt heard, supported and focussed towards some new plans!

• Cleared out my negative and limiting beliefs around what is possible for me and how hard I need to work to achieve it (the story I have told myself too often is “work has to be hard work” and this has led me to burn out, or the brink of it, more times than I can recall) - and there is just no place for this in my life for this sort of thinking any more

Reflecting on this combined process of clearing stuck, negative energy in several areas, I could see how that helped me go from feeling disheartened to openhearted, from fearful to courageous, and from stagnant to inspired. It created space for new ideas, new energy, and new possibilities to flow into my life.

Ask yourself: “What areas of my life could benefit from a good cleanse?”

I am AMAZING!

One of the things that is possible after a good cleanse, is a space for something new.

For me, the current ‘something new’ is a space for self acceptance, appreciation and self love.

In fact this was bought into sharp focus for me when I had to write a short introduction to a potential corporate client this week.

In it I articulated my background, the transition I made from research to coaching, and from corporate empoloyee to solopreneur all that the time of moving from Britain to Bahrain. It was a short, positive summary of my last 3 years and quickly, I received a very warm and positive response in return. It was so lovely that it made me read my own message again through the eyes of the person I sent it to…

Wow, I thought, this person (me) sounds amazing!

Seeing myself through the eyes of a stranger, I was able to see myself differently and embrace a feeling that I have not had for a long time a feeling that "I am amazing!" I knew there was something in here for me and chose to use it as a sort of mantra

Saying “I am amazing” over and over a few times, felt VERY silly at first —a phrase that didn't align at all with my inner critic's voice. But as I repeated it, I felt a shift in my energy and tentatively started to believe it. A bit like the opening of the Ted Talk by Shirzad Chamine (the founder of Positive Intelligence) where he describes himself as absolutely totally awesome! Give it a watch!

Building a foundation of empathy

There is no mistake that building a foundation of empathy is the first aspect of tapping into our “sage” inner wisdom that Positive Intelligence, is based on.

In essence, empathic power invites us to cultivate compassion, appreciation, gratitude and understanding, especially during moments of introspection and transformation. As I navigated through my emotional cleanses and embraced the mantra "I am amazing," I tapped into this empathic power.

When we are kind to ourselves (rather than allowing our inner Judge to beat us up), we have so much more space and energy for other things - like coming up with creative ideas or ways to get your job done, or holding space for others in your family or team that may need your support. It sounds too simple to be true - but bringing that self empathy really does open the door for so much more.

Woo woo? Or Whoop whoop!?

Now if you’ve been reading my emails or blog for a while you’ll probably know I am mostly pretty down to earth, and not exactly into “woo woo” stuff… But something about this new loving and accepting energy I am bringing and the mantra has shifted things for me. But since I am not into woo woo - I’ll describe it better as a “whoop whoop” self - celebratory style!

Since I started using my mantra I’ve been attracting all sorts of wonderful things

• Learned of the possibility of a new project

• Got confirmed as a speaker at an upcoming conference

• Had 2 ex colleagues and a coach friend reach out to reconnect

• A newsletter subscriber responded beautifully to one of my emails

• Oh AND I did a full press up for the first time (something I NEVER before believed was possible for me!)

Creating this mantra was a powerful reminder to keep that positive energy flowing—to counteract self-doubt and fear with self-love and courage. It's incredible how a few words can shift our perspective and open us up to new possibilities.

You are amazing too!

So, dear gentle reader, I invite you to reflect on your own journey, using my experience as a sort of template if you like. Imagine you were to write to a new prospective client or employer to introduce yourself…

• What are the big things that describe the essence of you?

• What achievements must they absolutely know about so they want to learn more?

• What milestones or moments put you on the path you are on now - whats pivotal to your journey?

Now if you read that back, and ask yourself

• What would your personal mantra be that resonates with your whole or even part of your being?

• How can you create even more space for growth and transformation in your life?

Until next time, keep clearing, keep growing, and remember—you are amazing!

And if your inner judge is too strong and preventing you from writing this for yourself, or if you’d simply like some support to articulate what makes you amazing so you can go on to do more amazing things, I’d love to chat to you in a complimentary coaching session - please see below

Book a free consultation with me here

The Rubber Band Effect: How Personal Growth Works

Have you ever found yourself attempting to work towards some desired goal or build a sexy new habit but feel trapped in a cycle of self-doubt or overwhelm that things are not working out quite like you imagined? That despite your best efforts, to change or reach the target, you slip back into your frustrating old ways?

If so, you're not alone. In fact, I recently experienced a powerful breakthrough during a coaching session that left me feeling emotionally raw yet profoundly empowered. Today, I want to share with you the insights gained from this experience and the lessons learned along the way.

My Personal Growth Epiphany

It was about 10 years ago now (when I was introduced to the concept of Growth Mindset as part of my job at Microsoft) that I had my first big personal growth epiphany. The idea of simply believing in my capacity to learn new things (rather than my intellect and other abilities being fixed as Dr Carol Dweck describes) was a real eye opener. Since then, I’ve increasingly introduced myself to practices like meditation, journaling, and consistent self-reflection. It was my curiosity in these areas that also led me to coaching and the transformation from corporate employee to solopreneur.

Over the years I’ve applied (with varying levels of consistency) these techniques, and been able to realise significant growth and changes in my life, all in pursuit of becoming the best version of myself.

Yet, despite my efforts, recently I found myself grappling with feelings of inadequacy and frustration.

It was during a recent coaching session that these feelings came to a head. As I sat down to speak with my coach, I felt a lump in my throat and tears welling up in my eyes. I couldn't shake the sense of anguish that had been building inside me for weeks.

Despite all the work I'd done on myself, the different ways I was approaching my health, friendships, balancing work and life, I still felt like I was falling short—like I felt like I wasn't making the progress I desired.

Instead of offering myself loving kindness, and the type of warmth, empathy and support I would offer a friend who shared these sort of woes, I allowed my Judge and other Saboteurs to “hijack” my mind and beat me up with their cruel words.

My inner Judge offered:

• “You’ll never be taken seriously as a coach if you carry on like this!”

• “How can you expect your clients to trust you when you sit here a snivelling mess!?”

• “Surely if all this 'personal growth’ stuff worked, you’d be making even more progress by now?!”

The Rubber Band Effect

My coach, who specialises in self-love and empathy, shared with me a powerful analogy that resonated deeply. She likened the journey of personal growth to stretching a rubber band.

The Rubber Brand Effect

Like a rubber band, initially, it requires effort to expand ourselves to new places. Yet, as we continue to stretch, it becomes easier and easier to reach new horizons. With too much tension the rubber band can snap. Even with the right level of tension, when it is no longer in place, the rubber band returns to its original shape.

This analogy gave me comfort during our session.

It reminded me that change happens in the doing, not just the knowing. Even when the rubber band pings back, it has been changed. It is easier now to stretch to places that were previously impossible for me. This perspective helped me bring "blameless discernment" to my efforts—evaluating them fairly but with kindness and support rather than self-judgment.

It allowed me to realise now matter what my Judge had said, that progress WAS there. I was being more patient, and kinder to myself in a whole host of ways, and that I’m still undoing decades of inner programming, cultural conditioning and societal expectations… phew!

Reflections on new insights

In the days following the coaching session, I found myself reflecting on the insights gained and the lessons learned. One of the biggest reasons I was allowing my Judge and other Saboteurs to beat me up was because I realised that part of their unhelpful narrative was about what you, (yes you! dear gentle reader), would think of me.

Instead I accessed my deeper inner wisdom of my sage and realised that vulnerability is not a sign of weakness, but rather a testament to courage. Having the strength to acknowledge and address struggles is necessary. In fact it is the very act of sharing our struggles with others, that we engage our humanity

That's why I've chosen to share these lessons with you today.

Despite the discomfort and vulnerability writing this bought me, I know it may help someone who also has a harsh Judge that tells them their efforts are not got good enough (no matter what they do or how hard they try).

So, if you find yourself grappling with feelings of self-doubt and frustration on the path to your goals and dreams, know that you're not alone. I’ve no doubt you have been making more progress than you realise, and perhaps your rubber band has been stretched a little past where it feel comfortable, and you could use a hand getting to a more comfy spot.

In fact as I found with my own coach, having support and guidance from someone who can relate and is a few steps further down the road than you are, is the most wonderful thing of all.

If you’d like a complimentary coaching session to experience what working with me would be like, please see below

Book a free consultation with me here

How I started doing less (not more) and still make progress

Yesterday I met a friend for lunch and she was telling me all about the progress that she was making in setting up her new business. As a fellow expat, here in Bahrain, doing this outside her home country has been a lot to navigate and required a steep learning curve and a lot of support! And on top of this my friend is a mother of two young children, so her time is not only limited but always full of distractions

Dealing with distractions

As I listened to my friend, I could really relate to the struggle of dealing with distractions. Even though I don't have young children to take care of, I still have…

• messages popping up on whatsapp, linkedin, instagram or email all day every day, some from family and friends, others from clients who I support via whatsapp between sessions

• the imaginary gauntlet of the washing / drying area every time I go from my office space to the kitchen to make myself a cuppa - knowing if I allow myself to get distracted here I’ll likely avoid all sorts of other more important things

• a husband that comes home from work when I am still in the middle of my day and mid-flow (his days are 6am-4pm while mine tend to be 10am-7pm)

• two cats who come and sit on my keyboard just when I am in the middle of something (to be honest I don’t actually mind that one!)

The challenge when working on anything of significance (be it your own company, a busy job or even a side project or hobby), is finding the headspace to focus on it.

Headspace and getting in the flow is necessary so you make progress and build up momentum. Having tried MANY things over the years to deal with my own procrastination and distraction issues, I shared some nuggets with my friend based on what had worked for me.

Just pick a single (important) thing

No matter how long your “To Do List” I have found that the simplest approach is best. So rather than doing lots of complicated assessments about which task is more important than another, just pick one. The trick here is it has to be something of significance, but that doesn’t mean it will necessarily take a long time.

For example. the most important thing might be emailing someone about a possible job opening before it closes. It will take 30 minutes to draft and send that email, but may lead to an amazing opportunity.

When I take this approach, I find that I find that I get that single task done, and then have the time, headspace and motivation for another

Why?

Well with the first task done, there is usually a huge sense of achievement because you've done something that was really important for you.

You also take something off the list which may have been niggling or stressing you (and let's be honest it always feels good to get that little dopamine hit from completing a task!)

And, it often puts some of the other tasks that are on the To Do List into a bit of perspective. You realise that of the other 8 things on the list, 5 of them weren't that important anyway, they were in fact just distractions dressed up as tasks.

I know this strategy may sound too simple to be effective, but as someone who is very guilty of making big plans and not actually following them through this approach really really works for me. And the kind of progress you can make doing that every day is not insignificant.

Celebrating and remaining positive

It's really really really easy when you've got big dreams and big ambitions, to look at the actions that you're taking and hear your saboteur voices critiquing your progress.

They may review what you have achieved that day and say “that's pathetic progress” or “that's not gonna be enough to reach the goal or desired outcome” but actually the compound effect of doing one single thing one important thing every day will have a HUGE impact - and that is worth celebrating!

So rather than allowing your saboteurs take away the enjoyment of your efforts, celebrate your effort and stay positive. Maybe it's an achievements journal or folder where you keep track of all of the things that you have achieved and the wins from that week / month. Or even sharing with someone else what you have done and how proud you are of your efforts.

“Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them.”

Jack Canfield

So no matter how small the action seems or how little it seems to have moved the overall dial celebrate the fact that you're even doing it and stay positive about your effort rather than your outcome. Every day you're ticking one important thing off your list you’ll find everything you do is so much more fun and enjoyable, and so the momentum with naturally build!

If you ever want to talk about how I can help you make more progress by doing less in your own career and life you know where I am - lets chat!

Book a free consultation with me here

Your antidote to overcomplicating just about everything

In a world that seems to spin faster each day, it's easy to get caught up in the race to progress in life, and in our careers. Recently I wrote about how my views on taking the slow lane for a while (you can read it here) and today I’m sharing some thoughts on a related issue.

Why is it that when we want to progress quickly towards something, rather than taking the most direct route, we often overcomplicate things with additional ideas or options for how to get there, unnecessary analysis of what may or may not work best and often a side of taking ourselves way to seriously on the outcome we are working towards?!

Two words: simple and fun

When I started the coaching side of my business I was in love with the newness and the possibilities that come at the start of something. Growth mindset was my middle name! And because I was a beginner, I acted like one, and played and experimented with all sorts of ways to put myself out there and in front of clients who may benefit from my coaching and support.

This meant that I embraced collaborating with friends and coaches I had met through my training and coming up with innovative ideas from events, retreats, discussion groups and more.

One of my favourites was an event called “Sparkle YOUR Way” an evening of champagne tasting coupled with some introductory coaching exercises. Over a few hours attendees got to uncover areas of their own lives where they wanted more sparkle and discuss and generate ideas to deliver on that with the help of the group. Everyone got to enjoy a bit of bubbly, learn the difference between Cava, Prosecco and Champagne AND feel sparkly themselves. While I love drinking the bubbly stuff, I am no expert, so I partnered with a beautiful and talented sommelier friend of mine for that part, while I guided the coaching exercises. According to our attendees it was truly a fabulous and effervescent evening!

The best part was, my friend and I planned it over lunch, evolved it over whatsapp, and delivered it a couple of weeks later. It was simple and fun!

More complexity is rarely the answer

Somewhere along the way, I got dragged into the race, tying to build my business faster than was good for me - and in doing so started to put less emphasis on keeping it simple and having fun. Instead I lost sight of why I started coaching in the first place: because I love helping people, and especially breaking down the stigma that still exists about coaching (especially for those people, like me, who struggle to ask for and accept help).

Instead of focusing on the joy of working with clients and making a difference in their lives, I became consumed by the need to make everything perfect (even though ironically I rarely if ever lived up to that ideal). And in the process, I sucked all the fun out of running my business.

As it turns out, you have a lot more time and headspace for fun when you drop out of the race so to speak. Now I am in the slow lane, I’m making a simple plan for how I retain the fun side in my work - and you know what I have a sneaking suspicion that will be appreciated by my clients as well as me!

Three simple and fun strategies for you

So, if you find yourself in a similar situation—overcomplicating things and draining the joy out of your life—here are three simple and fun strategies to bring more simplicity and fun into your life today:

1. Embrace Imperfection: Instead of striving for perfection in everything you do, embrace the beauty of imperfection. Understand that mistakes are inevitable and that they often lead to growth and learning. Allow yourself to let go of the need to control every outcome and instead focus on enjoying the journey, flaws and all

   Recommendation: read the book by Brene Brown “The Gifts of Imperfection” a total game-changer for caring a little less about things that don’t matter, in my opinion)

2. Simplify Your Schedule: Take a look at your calendar and ask yourself: are all these commitments really necessary? Are they bringing me joy, or are they just adding unnecessary stress to my life? Be ruthless in cutting out activities that don't align with your priorities or values.

   My example - prioritising my mental and physical fitness is now my number one priority - so this is fixed in my schedule well in advance and now everything else gets scheduled around it.

3. Inject Playfulness into Your Routine: Find ways to inject a sense of playfulness into your daily routine. Whether it's turning mundane tasks into games, singing along to your favorite songs while doing chores, or indulging in a creative hobby, make a conscious effort to infuse your life with moments of fun and joy.

   My example - when I first started selling my services I found it so gut-wrenchingly awful it would take me hours to put a single post on linkedin or to send someone a message. Sales was one of the many hats I need to wear so I created a persona “Sally the Saleswoman” and I put on her hat (literally and metaphorically each time I needed to press send!)

By embracing simplicity and fun in your life, you'll not only rediscover the joy in what you do, but you'll also cultivate a greater sense of fulfilment and happiness as you literally get more done.

So, what are you waiting for?

As someone who's been there, done that, and got the overcomplicated t-shirt many many times over, I hope my latest revelations are valuable to you, and you can see how stripping away the unnecessary layers of complexity can help to rediscover the absolute joy in what you do.

And if that doesn’t do it, a dog wearing fake glasses and nose is about as simple fun as it gets. Dontcha think!?

If you ever want to talk about how I can help you bring a more simple and fun approach in your own career and life you know where I am - lets chat!

Book a free consultation with me here