Confidence: A Practice, Not a Destination
Last month, I traveled from Bahrain to the UK to attend Confidence Live!
It focused on themes like building confidence, being more resilient, and loving yourself more—all topics I frequently discuss and help my clients work on.
Even so, I still need my own motivational boosts from time to time, so I was sooo excited to attend! I hoped that being surrounded by inspiring speakers and like-minded individuals would be just the energiser I needed.
What is “confidence” anyway?
One of the things I took away from the event was the realisation that confidence is inherently flexible and ever shifting, even though many of us (including me!) would like it to be fixed and stable, something we can rely on as we approach new challenges and situations
In fact we ALL have an innate level of confidence that may only shine through in certain situations or under specific conditions, and its normal to have confidence in some areas and less in others (especially new things we are trying for the first time).
Confidence isn’t something you either have or don’t have; it’s a practice, a habit, a muscle you can grow.
Someone at the conference said confidence is a skill you can learn. While I partly agree, I believe confidence is more about practice and experience. It’s not separate from the activities you want to be confident in; it’s an integral part of the journey of becoming proficient in those activities.
Do you sabotage your own confidence?
One of my big ah-ha moments was how much my inner saboteurs have been interfering with my attempts to feel confident. Everything from having me pretend things I want to do are not that important to me, or pushing myself for more qualifications and certifications before I can take certain actions
Do you recognise any of these limiting your ability to grow confidence?
The Avoider saboteur leads to inaction, keeping us from taking necessary steps forward.
The Stickler saboteur demands perfection, causing us to hold back if things aren’t just right
The Victim saboteur makes everything feel like things for us are harder or more difficult than for others
While we often attribute our lack of confidence to external surroundings and environment, the true challenge lies within. This is why embracing our inner sage wisdom —and being kind to ourselves for the fears we have while taking laser-focused, clear action on the first step—is the best way to build that confidence muscle.
The ‘No Silver Bullet’ Realisation
Part of me hoped that at the event I would learn a new nugget of information that would magically make everything click into place. But one of the biggest takeaways for me from Confidence Live was the realisation that there is no silver bullet for gaining confidence.
Although the presentations were wonderful, filled with vulnerability, brilliant storytelling, and unique perspectives, I realised that much of it wasn’t new news to me. This wasn’t a negative insight—instead, it reinforced that the fundamentals of building confidence remain the same.
Confidence doesn’t come from thinking, reading, or talking about it.
Confidence comes from doing, learning, and sometimes failing.
That’s where true confidence is built.
Courage Over Confidence
So this was the reminder I needed, that perhaps instead of waiting until I felt confident, what I really needed was the courage to take an action, or to ask for help to get moving
So my invitation to all of you is this:
Train yourself to be courageous instead of confident.
Start small, start safe, and set yourself up to learn and grow along the way.
You’re inner saboteurs will pop up with their unhelpful narratives (you expect that by now!) but you can firmly put them in their place and take that single, courageous first step!
Action Steps to Embrace Sage Courage:
Identify Your Saboteurs: Recognise the specific negative patterns and thoughts holding you back.
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, acknowledging your fears without judgment.
Set Small, Achievable Goals: Break down your larger goals into smaller, manageable steps to build momentum.
Take Imperfect Action: Accept that progress is more important than perfection and take the first courageous step, however small.
Reflect and Celebrate: Regularly pause to acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small.
Thank you as always, for being here, please take this as you own reminder that you have everything you need within you to take those small but courageous steps that will in fact lead to growing confidence.
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