Why meaning isn’t enough (you have to enjoy your career journey!)

At the end of 2023 I was spending time doing reflection and goal setting for 2024. And you know what I was finding it really hard work. What normally came easy to me was now a struggle and I have to admit I found it quite distressing. To unpick what caused that resistance and distress, I need to go back and tell you a quick story…

Making meaningful career and life changes

Several years ago now I made some pretty significant changes in my life, left my corporate research job, moved abroad with my husband for the first time (hello Bahrain!), shipped a cat overseas, and decided to become self employed.

My first step into self employment was consulting as independent research consultant. Later I also chose to formalise my interest in helping others with their professional and personal development by training to become (and certifying) as a coach. Both consulting and coaching could be done online (the one thing I am grateful to the pandemic for!) which allowed freedom for me to travel and explore the new region I was living in, something important to me.

I was incredibly proud of myself at that time, to have taken the opportunity and the time to figure out what would be more meaningful in my career - and the addition of coaching filled a gap that research didn’t quite stretch to.

My mission for the coaching side of my business was simple: show others the amazing transformative power of coaching and personal development.

Why?

Coaching had been offered to me in the past but was something I had been strongly against for many years, holding a limiting belief that asking for help would be seen as a weakness. However after my personal experiences with two fantastic coaches, I did a complete 180 on that view and wanted to spread the word.

It felt incredibly meaningful to me to help others like me (self confessed perfectionists, people pleasers and hyper-achievers) to know there is an alternative to working your self to the point of burn out.

So off I trotted, trying out new things in service of my mission and a big focus on getting VISIBLE:

• Posting on LinkedIn for the first time

• Then posting on LinkedIn nearly every day

• Putting on events that introduced the idea of coaching

• Setting up and sharing regular video content on YouTube

• Putting my hand up for and speaking at conferences like Quirks and ICF

My purpose served as a guiding light

It definitely was not always plain sailing. All those activities listed above were completely new to me and outside my comfort zone. Whenever I had a wobble in what I was doing or I felt resistance, I would come back to my purpose “to be the guiding light that shows others its actually a strength to get support so that you can grow personally and professionally” And most of the time this focus on my mission, those who I was hoping to serve and support got me over my own insecurities, worries or fears of judgement.

But there was something important I was not keeping an eye on... And that was whether I was even enjoying what I was doing…

While I ADORED working with my clients and seeing the amazing shifts they were making in their own careers. I also found I really enjoyed speaking at conferences, and on webinars to motivate others, and had fun putting on live events. On the other hand, I hated posting every day on LinkedIn. For over a year I struggled, and tried so many ways and methods to make it easier for me. While I had some breakthroughs, mostly I sat at my computer and a blank screen for extended periods of time and felt stressed and unhappy about my own ineptitude to do something so ‘simple’

It became a self fulfilling prophecy…

The more I toughed it out, the harder it felt and the more I beat myself up. In fact my inner saboteurs were in full force on this one, so I punished myself even by forcing myself to stay in my office (nicknamed my “box”!) for longer and longer periods of time until all my content creation tasks were done. The more I focussed on this, the less time and energy I had to focus on making an impact with my coaching clients AND enjoying the other bits that I actually did like (eg speaking / running events).

It was not the positive mindset I was trying to demonstrate to those I wanted to support or the freedom of an online business I had designed for myself initially

What’s the moral of this story?

So coming back to my goals and vision for 2024 - no wonder I was finding it hard to write anything down when I had lost a big part of my connection to what was enjoyable for me.

I’m still working through the finer points of my goals and vision, but for now I’ve chosen ENJOYMENT to be my guiding word for this year, and I’ll be asking myself regularly whether the activities and projects I am working on are delivering. I’ll be keeping a track of the fun activities I do as well as the level of enjoyment I feel each week.

Many of us want to make big changes in our work and life to have an impact, live a life of purpose and meaning. I still believe this is of huge importance, but don’t let chasing meaning (or in fact any big goal) mean you forget to enjoy the process along the way!

And if you are an email subscriber of mine - you’ll know already some of the changes I plan to make, as I dish a bit more dirt for those getting my weekly newsletter ;) and if not, sign up here - you’ll be the first to be notified about my blog each week

Until next week, have fun, enjoy the process and laugh as much as you can.

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Feeling Trapped in Your Career? Here's What to Do

Are you feeling trapped in your career, uncertain about the next step, or questioning your current path? If so, you're not alone. Many of us feel like this from time to time (especially at the start of the year when the fresh start you hoped for has not revealed itself in your current role or work).

Its something I have personal experience of, on multiple occasions throughout my career actually! And what surprised me the most recently was that I realised working for myself did not make me immune to these feelings. In fact, ironically I think I felt them even more keenly of late, questioning some of my choices and wondering how to move forward…

If you're resonating with the feelings of being trapped in your career, today's post is specifically crafted for you. Firstly, let's discuss the common factors that may contribute to feeling stuck in your career.

Identifying the Traps 

Trap 1 - lack of challenge but unsure what would be more interesting or enjoyable

The professionals I work with (those with backgrounds in research, data analysis, or problem-solving type careers) often encounter this challenge when the current role no longer presents a sufficient challenge. Expertise in a particular area is certainly valuable, especially for your company (not to mention your ego) but the flip side is lack of energising challenges may lead to feelings of monotony and demotivation - so you feel stuck. 

Trap 2 - drained from your day job, little energy to explore (let alone make changes)

Secondly, the people who I support tend to be experienced in their careers, they are leading teams, holding senior roles with significant client facing and team management responsibilities. The stressors associated with these roles can quickly feel like your time is not your own, and your focus is constantly pulled from one “fire-fighting incident” to another. And if you are anything like me, with a tendency to occasionally people-please, this one is even more critical as you give so much to others, you likely feel  you don’t have the energy to think about yourself and your career - so you feel stuck

Trap 3 - well paid work gives a certain lifestyle - but you’re missing a sense of purpose

Thirdly, feeling trapped in your career can also stem from a lack of alignment with your values and aspirations. While the work may be satisfactory, it may not provide the fulfillment or impact you desire. Balancing the desire for meaningful work with financial stability can create a dilemma that contributes to feelings of being stuck. 

And when ALL those factors intertwine - it can feel even harder to unpick!

Shifting from a mindset of feeling trapped to one of empowerment requires self-awareness, clarity, and action.

When I made changes in my own career in the past, I often looked at these elements in isolation. Yet now having worked through the process of making pretty major adjustments a few times over (and supporting clients to do the same), they are often inter-linked - and that complexity in itself can contribute to the overwhelm and procrastination, because where do you start!?

The truth is YOU need to own the process, as Mel Robbins likes to say “no one is coming to save you!”

Practical Steps for Change 

Breaking free from feeling trapped in your career fundamentally requires knowing where you are headed, and in my experience involves a process of

• assessing where you are today

• exploring the factors making you feel stuck

• dreaming of new alternatives

• figuring out some practicalities of how to make it work in your life

• defining where you are headed

• AND, critically, taking action

• and then repeating the process and course-correcting as needed...

This type of process essentially takes you from the messy web if ideas, doubts and limiting beliefs through to clarity on where you are headed and what makes that important for you. And of course you can do it on your own, but my clients tell me that its more rapid, enjoyable and successful when they have some guidance along the way.  

Define your new destination

If you find yourself describing the long list of things you DON’T want and staying stuck where you are, imagine if you got clear on what you DO want from your dream career destination?!

How much easier (and more fun) would it be, to explain to others exactly what you are aiming for (and why), so you can ask for their help to get there, or to research the steps you need to make that transition, or start reading up about inspiring people in your new field to motivate you further?

If you're ready to redefine your career and take the first courageous step toward a more meaningful and joyful path, I would love to help.

My programme Elevate Your Path guides you to do just that in 90 days or less - you can learn more about it here

Learn more about Elevate Your Path

The advantageous power of Mental Fitness vs. Mental Health

The start of a new year often marks a period of reflection and goal-setting, and I believe that understanding the nuances of well-being—specifically the distinction between mental fitness and mental health—can be valuable, as you navigate the challenges and opportunities ahead.

Understanding the Distinction: Mental Fitness vs. Mental Health 

While mental health is all-encompassing, encompassing emotional, psychological, and social well-being, mental fitness is a proactive journey of cultivating mental strengths. It's about building cognitive and emotional capabilities to enhance overall well-being. In essence, mental health is a necessity, while mental fitness is an advantage.

Let's break down these concepts with some examples:

Mental Health vs Mental Fitness Summary Table

Think about individuals in your business… Who maintains good mental health? Now think about who exhibits mental fitness? The resilient ones, bouncing back from challenges and embracing growth opportunities

What can you learn from their and their approaches? How have they cultivated their mental fitness?  

Conclusion: Embracing Holistic Well-being 

Understanding this nuanced distinction between mental health and mental fitness, is helpful for individuals and leaders. Hopefully this is a useful starting point and an invitation to reflect on integrating both mental health and mental fitness strategies into individual leadership styles and team dynamics. While this insight is powerful, making progress can be challenging alone, especially without a guiding framework. 

As one of a select number of coaches in the Positive Intelligence system, I support clients to combat self-sabotaging behaviours, making a significant difference in just 6 weeks. If you're intrigued by the prospect of embracing mental fitness in your role or organisation, click the link below to book a complementary consultation.

Until next time, lead with mental fitness, purpose and resilience! 

Your Complementary Consultation

Rethinking goal setting - so that you meet your goals and enjoy doing it!

As we stand on the cusp of another year, the air is thick with resolutions and ambitious goal-setting. We've all been there – drafting lofty objectives, only to find ourselves overwhelmed and disheartened when they aren't met. If this sounds familiar, then this blog is for you.

Over the years, I've embarked on numerous goal-setting journeys, tried and tested various methodologies, only to realise that the traditional paths often felt misaligned with my own aspirations and values. Through trial and introspection, I've crafted my unique approach to goal-setting, which I believe can resonate with many of you.

The Traditional Approach: A Quick Overview

Across business, sports, and understadning human psychology the virtues of goal-setting are clear. And I’m definitely on board with goals, I feel rudderless without them. Goals help in many ways, enhancing motivation to boosting self-esteem, and there are numerous styles and approaches. Having “grown up” in the corporate world SMART goals were a staple of mine (specific, measurable, achievable , relevant, time-bound) yet i never really stopped to ask myself whether they were the right approach for me…

Yet, having set and missed goals, celebrated wins that felt hollow, and navigated the maze of my own lofty aspirations, I realised that there isn't a one-size-fits-all approach to goal-setting.

The Journey of Self-Discovery

When I paid attention to my experiences they became valuable lessons, showing me what worked and what didnt, and providing me opportunity to create new ideas, qualities and ideas to further my own success.

One significant departure from traditional views on goal setting has become my emphasis on the journey over the destination. While many laud the outcomes - ever heard of setting BHAGS (“big hairy audacious goals”?!) - I instead found a more achievable goal was the right level for me, accepting my overall progress may be slower than others as a result. While I had previously focussed accolades or external validations, I’m now learning to love the process and stay open to what it might bring (I’ve had some wonderful surprises that I could never have set a goal around, and keeping my goals loosed means I stay open to more of those unexpected treats!)

Another divergence was the celebration of small wins. In a world obsessed with “top CEO” or “30 under 30” or “making 6 or 7 figures / year”, acknowledging minor achievements became my source of motivation. It wasn't about monumental leaps but consistent strides, recognising that each step, no matter how small, was a testament to my resilience and commitment.

Redefining Your Goals: A Call to Experimentation

If my reflections resonate with you, I urge you to embark on your journey of self-discovery. Experiment with different methodologies, observe what ignites passion, resonates with purpose, and aligns with your values. Remember, the goal isn't conformity but authenticity – crafting a goal setting approach (and path) that is uniquely yours.

For those intrigued by my approach, I'm thrilled to offer my Reflection and Goal-Setting Workbook. Delve deeper into my insights, exercises, and strategies that have shaped my journey. While it's crafted based on my experiences, I encourage you to adapt, modify, and mould it to suit your own aspirations.

In Conclusion

Goal-setting, at its core, is a deeply personal endeavor.

While the world offers myriad methodologies, strategies and approaches, the truth is you have to experiment and work out for yourself which one or ones work best for you. My own journey, has culminated in a goal setting process that feels right for me, for now!

After all, in the words of Tony Robbins, "Setting goals is the first step from turning the invisible to visible." Here's to making our visions a tangible reality, one step at a time.

Until next time, stay curious.

Resources

https://positivepsychology.com/goal-setting-psychology/

Downloads

“END OF YEAR REFLECTION & GOAL SETTING”

Your guide to take you from burnt-out to energised and purposeful in your career

The secret to a powerful reflection (so you don’t sleepwalk into next year)

As we approach the end of the year, many of us find ourselves navigating the familiar terrain of burnout and exhaustion. The relentless pace of work, coupled with the anticipation of year-end deadlines and holiday festivities, can leave even the most resilient among us feeling drained.

If this resonates with you, know that you're not alone—and more importantly, it's okay to feel this way. However, before you dive into the familiar cycle of setting ambitious goals for the next year, I invite you to consider a different approach: the power of reflection.

The Foundation of Soft Skills

In a world where soft skills like empathy, communication, and emotional intelligence are increasingly valued, one foundational skill often remains underappreciated: reflection. According to a compelling article in the Harvard Business Review, reflection is not just an optional activity but a crucial habit that distinguishes extraordinary professionals from their peers. It serves as the bedrock upon which other soft skills grow, providing a framework for honest self-assessment and continuous growth

The Courage to Reflect

Reflecting on your experiences requires courage. It's about taking an honest moment to contemplate your actions, decisions, and their consequences. But here's the caveat: reflection is most beneficial when approached with a clear and rested mind. If you're feeling burned out or exhausted, diving headfirst into reflection may yield more frustration than insight.

As counterintuitive as it may sound, reflection without adequate rest can be a recipe for rumination rather than genuine introspection.

Meditative Pathways to Insight

So, how can you prepare your mind for meaningful reflection? Consider incorporating meditation into your daily routine. Meditation has been shown to activate parts of the brain associated with introspection and creative thinking. A simple practice like PQ Reps from Positive Intelligence —where you close your eyes, take deep breaths, and focus on the present moment—can enable you to command your mind. When you're in a calmer state, you're better equipped to engage in reflection that is both insightful and constructive.

Questions to Guide Your Reflection

As you embark on this reflective journey, here are some thought-starters to guide your contemplation:

1. What aspects of your work or lifestyle consistently drain your energy?

2. How have you been prioritizing rest and relaxation this year?

3. What activities or people truly help you recharge?

These questions serve as a starting point, designed to help you identify patterns, challenges, and opportunities for growth. For a more in-depth exploration, I've created a free downloadable worksheet that you can access at your convenience.

Conclusion: A Time for Rest and Renewal

As we navigate the complexities of work, life, and the relentless pursuit of success, let's not forget the importance of rest and reflection. You owe it to yourself to pause, recharge, and approach the next chapter of your life with clarity and purpose. And if you're ready to explore what would make work more meaningful again, consider watching my video, "Elevate Your Path," or look out for my upcoming blog on a new approach to goal setting.

Remember, you are worthy of rest, rejuvenation, and a meaningful career future.

Until next time, be kind to yourself.

Resources

Bailey, J. R., & Rehman, S. (2022). Don't Underestimate the Power of Self-Reflection. Harvard Business Review.

Downloads

“END OF YEAR REFLECTION & GOAL SETTING”

Your guide to take you from burnt-out to energised and purposeful in your career

Taking the plunge

Coaching can help you accelerate through challenges, feel more at peace by looking at things through a different perspective or encouraging you to feel, process and let go of emotions and take action towards your goals. That said, many people have yet to experience coaching so plenty of mystery and stigma remain - and it can feel daunting to try something new.

Initially, I too, was resistant to coaching. It is only with hindsight and the fantastic experience I have had with my coaches that got me wondering what might have been if only I had been more open to it sooner…

The first time I was offered executive coaching I clearly remember having had an excellent appraisal at work. We were growing the team significantly and I mentioned that it would be a challenge to transition into a new way of working. My boss suggested it could be a good idea to have a coach, and spoke glowingly about their experience with coaching. Even though the offer was was positioned in a positive way, I became defensive as what I heard was I was not good enough to manage the transition without help. I backed off the idea and, in protecting my ego, missed an opportunity.

The second time I was offered executive coaching was in the wake of a big re-structure and round of redundancies. My role had remained, but was changed dramatically. I was in a new part of the organisation, with a new boss, new team. I was faced with very unclear requirements and expectations and felt totally out of my depth. This time however, I was open to having support, even though I remained somewhat skeptical.

My closed mindset wasn’t helping me and as a result the first few sessions with my coach felt a bit pointless. I didn’t really know what to expect so when there wasn’t ‘magic’ on session one OR two, I questioned whether it was worth it. I had nothing to lose though so I continued, and I am incredibly glad I did. Something shifted in my third session. My coach asked me a question. As I pondered the answer, I realised that I could connect the insight I was uncovering in that moment to the groundwork we had laid in the first two sessions. This momentum then continued to build in the coming weeks.

With the support of my coach, I took charge of redefining my role (literally writing my own job spec) and communicating it to others (including my boss, peers and other stakeholders). My fears of overstepping were not realised. In fact even though I had done it for MYSELF, everyone I shared it with was very welcoming of the clarity that it gave THEM. This gave me a much greater feeling of stability in the role and a platform from which to move ahead - all in less than 3 months.

Coaching is now part of my lifestyle, but reflecting on this turning point made me wonder, where would I be now if I had the courage to take the plunge sooner?

If you are ready to take the plunge with a coach, why don’t you dip your toe in the water (so to speak!) with me and book a complimentary 30m consultation?

We can talk about what you are feeling stuck with and what I might be able to help with.

I’ll make some recommendations and if its a good fit to work together, we can take it from there. And if not, you’re better informed to make the call when you do meet the right coach!