The Art of Balancing Work and Rest
As I sat in front of my laptop, feeling buried under piles of urgent emails, looming deadlines and my calendar a blur of never-ending meetings, my enthusiasm for work had faded away. It was ANOTHER one of those days where every task felt like a never-ending challenge. I felt utterly exhausted.
The annoying thing was I recognised this pattern, and the familiarity of stress from overwhelming workload with each day becoming more unbearable than the last… Over time, I couldn't shake off the feeling of despair. I longed for a break, a chance to catch my breath, but it seemed impossible in the relentless pace of corporate life. Tears welled up as I realised this wasn't the life I had envisioned when I started my career.
That evening, I poured out my frustrations to my coach, expressing the deep exhaustion and hopelessness I felt. The corporate culture seemed like an unchangeable force, and the idea of finding balance and joy at work felt like an impossible dream.
That was a little part of my story from 2019 when I was in my last corporate job, but it could have been told to me by several of my own coaching clients recently.
The struggle is real
In a world of never-ending tasks, tight deadlines, and relentless expectations (at work and home), burnout is a shockingly common experience (recent studies show levels of burn out range from 25-75% of people). And its not just for those of us in employment, even now working for myself I’m not immune to the risks of burn out.
It is just as important to recognise and talk about the facts of the situation as it is to deal with you own mindset and reactions to the challenges you face:
Does the workload align with your job role and expectations? Are you taking on more than is necessary for your role? Or maybe you have had to pick up extra responsibilities after someone else left?
What are the key factors driving the level of workload you have? Are there team members not delivering, poor communication so tasks often need to be repeated, are you holding on to things you could be delegating etc?
Are you constantly overwhelmed, or does it ebb and flow? Identify if there are recurring stressful situations that contribute or if its a more underlying feeling you have as these point to different solutions
These questions will help to give you some context and perhaps even insights (the market researcher inside me remains alive and well!) for you to see where the real issues are. With all of my clients, and us humans in general, there is the reality and then the perception of it which usually is exacerbating things…
Can you take a break?
“But I don’t have time to take a break” I hear you cry!
And to be honest, I have said that so many times myself too. When you are in the thick of an onslaught of heavy workload, and a mindset that tells you anything other than just plugging away is futile, it can feel impossible to take a break. But I promise you, the more strongly you are fighting me on this, the more you need a break, like right now!
Part of the challenge here is when we think of taking a break, the thing we often imagine either the most extreme version of a break (heading to a spa or deserted beach anyone?!) or the impact of what happens when we stop ie the work piling up even more, or worse that we might be thought of as lazy or uncommitted to our career or company for doing so. These extreme ideas feel unrealistic or anxiety inducing, so we stay stuck in our overwhelm.
Or perhaps you distract yourself on your phone for a bit of light hearted relief in the form of cat videos or motivational quotes, but realise after 20+ minutes of this you are now doom scrolling and even further from your deadline - come on it cant just be me!
On top of that our saboteurs predictably pile in and share unhelpful thoughts that fuel and maintain our behaviour patterns
The Judge may say “oh how pathetic you need a little rest do you?!”
The Controller may say “if you don’t do these tasks, no one else will, so there is simply no time for rest”
The Pleaser may say “you will be letting other people down if you take a rest now”
The Hyper Rational may ignore the feelings of exhaustion completely and keep plowing on with more tasks in a robot like manner
However, in the space we create when we rest, that is exactly where we have our ah-ha moments, the ability to be kind to ourselves for the fact it is f*cking hard to juggle everything, perhaps even clarity over what tasks we can delegate and the things that truly are important and a priority vs the ones that are just noisy distractions.
In fact in rest we can see the wood for the trees that allows us to navigate ahead in the best possible way
My favourite rest breaks from 2 to 20 mins
If you shudder at the thought of taking a break, consider how you could make time for any of these. Everyone, and I mean everyone can make 2 minutes - see if you can stretch yourself up to 20 with some of these ideas…
2 minute mindful breathing breaks: Take short breaks throughout the day for a few minutes of mindful breathing. Close your eyes, focus on your breath. In and out, noticing the difference in temperature of the air as it comes in vs out, or the way your chest / stomach rises gently as you breathe. This is one of the things the PQ programme delivers beautifully, with several prompts through the day to pause for 2 minutes to breath and calm the mind as part of the mental fitness training programme
5 minutes of creative expression: Engage in a creative activity and letting your mind flow freely in a different, expressive way can be rejuvenating. And no you dont need to be a great artist or anything! This could be journaling for 5 minutes on what is making you feel overwhelmed, or drawing a doodle that expresses your feelings
10 minutes for a Power Nap: My new absolute favourite! My coach introduced me to Yoga Nidra, a type of guided meditation for deep rest that enables a serious recharge from as little as 10 minutes. Find a quiet space, set an alarm, and let your mind and body briefly reset. I’m loving this one by Ally Boothroyd
20 minutes for a walk: Step away from your desk. I repeat, step away from your desk! Ideally get outside and immerse yourself in nature. A short walk in a nearby park or green space (if you have one nearby) can provide a refreshing change of scenery and give you the space you need to breath and re-focus
(If you are an animal lover) Get a cat: Ok ok, I am totally biased as a cat mama but honestly the decision to get Cleo (our first cat) and later Issy (pictured above) was a strategic stress coping mechanism for me, and it worked! Every time I stroke them I am soothed, and looking at their cute faces reminds me to give myself the same unconditional love and compassion that I give to them.
Call for compassion
What all of those breaks can help you to do is get, albeit briefly, a little bit of space from your situation so that you can give yourself some compassion. Because psssst here is the true secret - its giving yourself compassion and grace in these moments that is even more powerful than the rest.
Why?
Because when you beat yourself up for finding it hard and stressful and overwhelming and exhausting, you deplete even more of that precious energy you need to make good decisions about the best way forward. Instead when you pause and bring yourself compassion you can usually tap into a sort of inner wisdom that allows for a gentler approach
What would be the kindest thing you could say to yourself in those moments? Maybe its something like
“Anyone would feel overwhelmed by this level of workload”
“I’m doing my best with the resources & time available”
“Whatever I decide to prioritise it will be ok”
Maybe even the idea of this feels wierd to you, but please give yourself permission to give it a try next time you are feeling exhausted and tearful. And you can always pretend you’re saying it to a friend if that helps open the compassion taps.
Bring out your calm rebel
So give it a try. Rebel against the hustle and corporate productivity culture that says we must work at full steam all day every day, and instead, take a few deep breaths, have a nap, play with your cat and come back to your task or project or job feeling more energised and focussed than if you simply ploughed on through.
Oh and dont forget to tell yourself that you are bloody marvellous and doing your very best.
And if you would like to go deeper, I invite you to take the Positive Intelligence Saboteur Assessment. This tool will help you identify the inner beliefs, thought patterns, and behaviour tendencies that keep you in overwhelm and negativity rather than accessing that all important self compassion, so that you can start to make changes and feel waaaay better in just a few weeks.
Click below to book time on my calendar and debrief your personal results.