Breaking the Silence: Unleashing the Power of Your Voice in Your Professional Journey
There have been many times when I hesitated to speak up for myself in a professional setting. Some have been minor moments where my opinion would have been valuable but not necessary, others have been more painful recollections where my fear of being disliked/ judged/ shouted at drove my silence and had adverse consequences.
In the corporate world, just as in life, the ability to speak up is more than just a skill; it's a powerful tool for progress. As I reflect on my own journey and the collective experiences of many talented women that I work with, this is a very common topic that can impact even the most confident of us, at times.
This weeks blog is an exploration into the intricate dynamics of finding and using your voice in the professional arena, and the feeling of empowerment that comes when you do
Common factors keeping you quiet
If the challenge of speaking up personally or professionally is something that resonates with you, its easy to blame yourself (your quiet tone, introverted nature etc) or indeed point the finger at others (a toxic company culture or unsupportive boss for example). What I have learned is that unpicking the root cause is NEVER that straightforward, and often those internal and external factors combine together and overlap in complex and highly intricate webs - and its that which can keep you quiet in a myriad of situations.
In the below table I’ve outlined the 5 most common internal factors I explore with my clients, as well as highlighting the external factors which contribute or exacerbate the situation. Which ones resonate most with you?
The saboteurs within: a closer look
When considering those internal factors, the Positive Intelligence framework can shed light on the saboteurs within us—those sneaky voices that amplify our fears and hinder our ability to speak up or share our needs, wants and desires eg
The "Judge" sabotages self-belief
The "Avoider" evades conflict at all costs
The "Pleaser" keeps quiet for fear of displeasing others
Personally, I can recall a situation where I was sitting in a clients office, with them highly agitated and annoyed at the fact the data and reports that had been delivered had many inaccuracies (again). Their frustration was valid, we had huge issues in our data collection that was impacting results, yet the outward bursts of judgement and anger toward me as the account lead and ‘messenger’ were highly unprofessional, disrespectful and actually quite scary.
Their behaviour in turn set off my own saboteurs, leading me to simply agree with their assessment of the situation, and I personally took the blame for the issues, in the hope of not angering my client further. In truth, I was utterly sh*tting myself , afraid if I disagreed or corrected them, the situation would escalate and they would throw me and my colleague out of their office - what a humiliating prospect. Staying quiet, my pleaser & avoider believed, was the quickest way out of there!
In hindsight, I now realise I should have spoken up, remaining accountable for my part, but not personally taking the blame for parts beyond my control. In the long run, I believe it would have established a mutual respect that would have been better for our working relationship.
Instead, I carried fear around with me for a long time, absolutely hated it whenever I had to visit their offices incase of another ‘incident’ and worried excessively every time I sent over a report incase of the blasting I would get if there was any mistakes - yikes!
Looking back, I feel great empathy for that younger version of me who was not aware of my inner saboteur dynamics and how they were impacted by the external circumstances. But I am sooo grateful to now have the mental fitness and tools to deal with these things better each time - a continual work in progress!
The benefits of building the ‘speak up’ muscle
One of the things I see with clients is a great deal of pressure they place on themselves in this area. Often introverted, thoughtful women beat themselves up for not being the loud quick-witted ones. I really want to stress that you don’t have to totally move to the opposite end of the scale! Recognising and intercepting these saboteurs is akin to building a muscle—a muscle that empowers us to speak up with authenticity and assertiveness. Consider what a 10% improvement would do, I’m sure you’ll even surprise yourself at the difference a relative small shift can make!
What I have seen personally and with my clients, is that as you build the muscle of assertiveness (even 10%), confidence soars. Your ability to communicate your views, opinions and needs actually helps you to deepen relationships with colleagues, create environments where all can feel comfortable to be themselves and even more creative and innovative ideas can be born.
Even if you don’t recognise these saboteurs in yourself, growing your awareness of them may help you spot when someone on your team may be struggling to speak up, so you can support them to find and use their voice.
Starting to speak up more
If the themes in this weeks blog have resonated with you, and you want to practice speaking up more so that you can progress in your career, rebalance personal relationships or feel more assertive in all areas of your life then pick one of the factors listed in the table and start to pay attention to any times you notice that factor getting in the way of you speaking up, so that you can start to challenge and gently stretch yourself to shift that extra 10% from whereever you are today - be it speaking louder, more often or earlier in meetings for example.
And if you would like to go deeper, I invite you to take the Positive Intelligence Saboteur Assessment. This tool will help you identify the inner beliefs, thought patterns, and behaviour tendencies that might be holding you back. By understanding your saboteurs, you can begin the journey of intercepting their influence and unleashing the full potential of your voice.
Click below to book time on my calendar and debrief your personal results.