Ready to race? Revelations on why, sometimes, its better to shift down a gear
The past weekend in Bahrain bought the roar of Formula 1 engines, the exhilarating speed, and the thrill of competition! Its always a busy and fun filled time on the island and while I didn’t go to the race this year, it has prompted me to think again about the concept of racing though life, whether its good for us and if there is another way…
Spotting the language of urgency
Have you ever paid attention to the way we use the idea of speed in language? The idea that we are running out of time, or that if we don’t do things fast we’ll never get that time back, “time is money” etc. They are so integrated into the way we talk they can be hard to spot, until you are looking for them that is! A few that caught my attention here recently are
Express spa treatments (get that relaxing massage or facial in 30 minutes or less - how relaxing is it really?!)
Speed Yoga (something supposed to be spiritual and relaxing - doing it at speed is such an utter contradiction!)
See a city in 5 hours (these kind of travel layovers are popular here and while Bahrain is a tiny Island even 5 hours is pushing it if you truly want to experience the culture, traditions and people)
What examples have you come across that might tickle me?
Beyond these everyday examples, I also spend a lot of time in the world of online marketing and coaching for my business, and I see these types of speedy language rife there too.
It was only after I signed up to a challenge called “Race to Recurring Revenue” recently that I stopped to consider what all the hurry was about?! I realised that even I, in my slower period am not immune to the pull of the promise of rapid results!!
But, once I spotted it, and thought about why I wanted to sign up for the challenge, I had a bit of an allergic reaction to the whole idea. I couldn't help but feel uneasy about the language surrounding racing and urgency. The pressure to achieve significant milestones in a short span just didn’t sit right for where my head and heart is at right now.
Despite understanding the positive aspects of quick progress and especially limiting overthinking, I really found myself questioning whether racing into another challenge was right for me.
Reflecting on past experiences
You see, this “allergic reaction” to the idea of racing really helped me stop and think.
Once I really took the time to reflect on past experiences, I realised just how much I had been rushing through my entire career and life. Ever since I started working, I desperately wanted to crank up my years of experience so I could have a bio that read 5 years experience, then it had to be 10 years experience and so on. It never seemed to end, since with each milestone or more senior title, I was not satisfied I just wanted to look ahead to the next one.
In fact when I was younger I carelessly used to say “Live fast, die young, I’ll be dead by the time I am 40!*” What a way to wish away a life and career!!
(*Note dear reader, the irony that I am in fact 40 years old, as I write this blog for you now!)
These rushing and racing habits and behaviours are soooo engrained. They are linked to strengths of mine of being self-directed, driven and goal-oriented - and because our culture applauds these qualities, it can be addictive to keep pushing ahead as quickly as possible. We see this in the lauded 30 under 30 lists or even our parents crowing about our latest progress to their friends as a sort of badge of honour.
If you have some of these “Hyper Achiever” tendencies too, you’ll also recognise how these strengths, can easily get overused, and become crippling self sabotaging behaviours - too much focus on rapid achievement can really be to the detriment of self care, relationships and more.
Learning from unrealistic goals and behaviours
Just like with the challenge I mentioned, even now, as I have 20 years experience as a market researcher under my belt, I still feel the need to race! Putting myself under familiar pressure felt right when I started my coaching and consulting business.
Currently, I am coming up for 3 years as a self employed person and coach. This should be something to be celebrated, not minimised. But because of this pattern to reach milestones as fast as possible, I had attempted to run things in my business like a corporate machine, meaning strict objectives, working hours and targets - and it was horrible.
Waaah - why did I do that?!
Becoming a coach and working for myself were things I wanted to do to give me MORE freedom, MORE flexibility, MORE time for enjoying life. Yet instead I created a world for myself that had LESS of all those things.
And as the gap between my reality and these ambitious goals I was aiming for at breakneck speed widened, I found myself trapped in a spiral of low self-esteem and disappointment.
“Living the fast life, instead of the good life”
As I have become more intrigued by this topic, I’ve sought out other teachers, thinkers to help expand my own thinking on the topic.
Recently I came across the idea of The Slow Movement, as championed by journalist Carl Honoré, after going through his own revelations on the pace of life. It offers us a new perspective on the times to speed up vs slow down, and invites us to consider our well-being, our choices, and the overall quality of our journeys and how our pace is impacting them? If it intrigues you too, I’ll share some links below to books, YouTube videos and websites to check out.
Embracing a slower, more intentional journey
In considering the racing analogy, I discovered that not only did I need to get out of the fast lane and switch down a couple of gears, but in fact I lack the fuel to even race at this moment.
Instead, I find myself yearning for a slower, more intentional journey. The walking phase of life has taken precedence, allowing me to savor the journey, smell the proverbial roses, and extract valuable lessons from the act of slowing down, which as I learn them I hope to share with you.
So far, this self-reflection has become a real catalyst for establishing clearer boundaries, aligning with other individuals who appreciate the importance of moving at a slower pace and a realisation that the support and partnership I seek isn't centered around pushing for significant business goals but is rooted in a genuine enjoyment of the project and its collaboration.
So it begs the question, without the “need for speed” who even am I any more?! (Well there’s another blog post on that topic thats for sure!)
Spotting your own ‘racing’ tendencies
As always, thanks for taking the time to read my blog. If you’d like to learn more about some of the thinsg I have mentioned check these out
Watch: Ted Talk by Carl Honore “In Praise of Slowness”
Read: “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle
Learn: The Slow Living Movement Website
If my reflections on racing through life and the desire to take things down a gear or two have resonated, you may also share a Hyper Achiever Saboteur like I do.
If you’re curious to find out more about it and see how strong it is in you, then I invite you to take the Positive Intelligence Saboteur Assessment. Its totally free and if you want to chat through your results with me then please hop on my calendar and we’ll have a leisurely chat about it, no race talk or hard sell guaranteed.