Five surprising themes about personal growth (from a book about AI)
“When will I ever laugh again?” said Carrie sadly
“When something is really really funny, you’ll laugh” replied Miranda
I remember this line from SATC when Carrie is recovering on her Mexican honeymoon with her girlfriends (after Big left her at the altar) and she is so sad and depressed she worries that she may never get over it. This clip shows the moment that bought Carries laughter back - enjoy ;oP
Now thankfully, I have not just been jilted (in fact this May will mark 8 years married for Oli and I), but the quote makes me think of my love of reading, which abruptly left me some months back, maybe longer.
For ages I have struggled to read, even books that came highly recommended to me. No matter what I picked up, I would read a few pages and then lose concentration, put it down again, and then the next time I came to read again I couldn’t remember what I had read before.
For an avid reader this was beyond annoying!!
Not one to give up easily, I kept trying on and off, and dear gentle reader I am thrilled to share I found one that I could stick with, and its SO GOOD I have to talk about it in this weeks blog
“Girl Decoded” by Rana el Kaliouby
Personally I was drawn to “Girl Decoded” for a couple of reasons; of an increasing personal / professional interest in understanding how technology and emotions influence our performance, wellbeing and relationships. Plus the fact that living in the Middle East, I was curious to learn her story as a muslim woman becoming such a trailblazer in Tech!
Rana el Kaliouby offers not only a captivating journey into the world of artificial emotional intelligence, but it is also interwoven with her own personal narrative.
What made this a captivating read for me was its intimate portrayal of her journey, from her childhood in Egypt to her groundbreaking work in the United States. Her candid reflections on cultural identity, gender bias, and resilience add depth and authenticity to the narrative, making it both relatable and inspiring. Also, it offered additional gems related to my own career as I learned Affectiva, operates in the world of Market Research (and Millward Brown were one of the early investors in her companies technology!)
Five themes for personal growth
While the book offers a compelling vision of the future of AI and its potential to foster empathy and understanding, there were five themes that come up for me that I wanted to share:
Following Curiosity and Passion: El Kaliouby's journey begins with a simple yet profound principle: follow your curiosity. She initially pursued computer science, driven by a genuine interest in technology. However, it was her curiosity about the emotional aspects of human-computer interaction that led her to explore the field of affective computing. |And this in turn led to to different countries, collaborators and more that ultimately saw her found her company Affectiva
If you’re going through a transition and want to find the intersection between what you love and what you are good at (part of the Ikigai concept I use with clients), staying curious and following your interests in a great bet, even when they lead you into uncharted territory.
Embracing Unexpected Collaborations: Throughout her journey, el Kaliouby demonstrates the power of being open to unexpected collaborations. From her partnership with the psychology department at Cambridge University to her collaborations at the MIT Media Lab, she highlights the value of interdisciplinary teamwork and the potential for innovation that arises when diverse perspectives converge.
This theme emphasises the importance of setting goals while remaining flexible and open-minded. For anyone currently navigating their own career paths, el Kaliouby's example encourages you to embrace serendipity and welcome opportunities for collaboration, even if they diverge from their original plans.
Establishing Vision and Values: Central to el Kaliouby's success is her unwavering commitment to a clear vision and core values. She recognized early on that computers were missing emotional intelligence and made it her mission to fill that gap. Similarly, her commitment to privacy and consent-driven decisions reflects her deeply held values. This just highlights the importance of aligning personal and professional goals with a strong vision and values.
For anyone seeking purpose and direction in their careers, el Kaliouby's example serves as a reminder to establish a guiding vision and adhere to values that drive meaningful decision-making and impact.
Dreaming Big and Breaking Boundaries: El Kaliouby's journey is a testament to the power of dreaming big and breaking free from societal and cultural expectations. Despite facing obstacles and setbacks, she refused to be confined by her background or limitations imposed by others. Her boldness and determination to pursue her passions serve as an inspiration to challenge conventions and pursue aspirations fearlessly.
Whether facing career transitions or personal challenges, el Kaliouby's example encourages readers to break free from self-imposed limitations and embrace their full potential.
Valuing Diversity and Inclusivity: Throughout her career, el Kaliouby has championed diversity and inclusivity, both in her approach to development and in creating inclusive spaces for collaboration, such as her inclusive hackathons. This theme resonates deeply with this year's International Women's Day theme of inspiring inclusivity. El Kaliouby's example underscores the importance of valuing diverse perspectives, experiences, and ideas as a catalyst for innovation and progress.
For some years, I’ve personally been interested in gender equality and closing the gender pay gap (my coaching practice one of the ways I try and create a ripple effect of positive change for women), and reading her example towards inclusivity was inspiring. And a call to action for me to be even more open and inclusive in my future events and trainings.
Walking the walk
One additional, poignant, lesson from Rana el Kaliouby's journey is the importance of walking the walk (not just talking the talk).
Despite her groundbreaking work in adding emotional intelligence to machines, el Kaliouby found herself neglecting to heed emotional warning signs in her own life, ultimately leading to the breakdown of her marriage and divorce. Now I’m not saying marriage is the be all and end all - far from it, but this serves as a powerful reminder that even when we possess knowledge or expertise in a certain area, we must actively practice applying it in our own lives.
In my coaching practice, I've observed that the themes and challenges my clients face can sometimes mirror my own, highlighting the importance of self-awareness and ongoing personal growth.
This book underscores the humbling truth that none of us are immune to our own blind spots and that continual self-reflection and implementation are essential components of personal and professional development.
Final words
Whether you're a tech enthusiast, a market researcher, psychology buff, or simply curious about the future of AI, this book will leave you inspired and eager to explore the limitless possibilities of emotional intelligence. "Girl Decoded" is a must-read for anyone interested in the intersection of technology, emotion, and humanity.
And its endorsed by me as the book that got me back into reading again, so that has to mean something!
Want to read it yourself? Check it out here
Got any great book recommendations that I might enjoy? Send them over lara@lara-meyer.com
Want to talk about how I can help you implement any of the themes I spoke about from the book in your own career and life? Lets chat!