Letting go of the old (so that you can make space for the new)
Last week, I shared some thoughts on personal growth using the analogy of a rubber band—how we stretch ourselves into new spaces, sometimes snapping back (which was a huge point of frustration for me in the moment), yet I came to realise that having stretched before, I could always do so again.
Little did I know that last weeks woes would become a pretty pivotal moment of energetic clearing for me, making space for something new to open up.
The power of a good cleanse
Have you ever had a good cry, or a heart to heart with a friend - and then felt a whole lot better - even though your situation has not fundamentally changed?
Well that is the power of a good cleanse. Emotion is simply energy in motion and allowing those emotions to move through us (either through tears, or saying how we feel out loud) can shift a lot.
What I had not realised until I came to write this weeks blog, is that I’ve actually been cleansing a lot in the past month
Cleaned my closet of things I no longer love or wear (if you want some pro advice on this please check out Samantha Harman, my amazing style coach whose method I followed!)
Cleared out my office and desk - I had bits of paper everywhere, old random post its and a whiteboard that still had last some of last years goals on - hardly clear headed and laser focus on the action I want to create this year!
Cleared out some old worries and truths with my husband in a session we lovingly call “truthbombing” each other - we shared some real corkers of how we were both feeling about work and life - and just like that both of us felt heard, supported and focussed towards some new plans!
Cleared out my negative and limiting beliefs around what is possible for me and how hard I need to work to achieve it (the story I have told myself too often is “work has to be hard work” and this has led me to burn out, or the brink of it, more times than I can recall) - and there is just no place for this in my life for this sort of thinking any more
Reflecting on this combined process of clearing stuck, negative energy in several areas, I could see how that helped me go from feeling disheartened to openhearted, from fearful to courageous, and from stagnant to inspired. It created space for new ideas, new energy, and new possibilities to flow into my life.
Ask yourself: “What areas of my life could benefit from a good cleanse?”
I am AMAZING!
One of the things that is possible after a good cleanse, is a space for something new.
For me, the current ‘something new’ is a space for self acceptance, appreciation and self love.
In fact this was bought into sharp focus for me when I had to write a short introduction to a potential corporate client this week.
In it I articulated my background, the transition I made from research to coaching, and from corporate empoloyee to solopreneur all that the time of moving from Britain to Bahrain. It was a short, positive summary of my last 3 years and quickly, I received a very warm and positive response in return. It was so lovely that it made me read my own message again through the eyes of the person I sent it to…
Wow, I thought, this person (me) sounds amazing!
Seeing myself through the eyes of a stranger, I was able to see myself differently and embrace a feeling that I have not had for a long time a feeling that "I am amazing!" I knew there was something in here for me and chose to use it as a sort of mantra
Saying “I am amazing” over and over a few times, felt VERY silly at first —a phrase that didn't align at all with my inner critic's voice. But as I repeated it, I felt a shift in my energy and tentatively started to believe it. A bit like the opening of the Ted Talk by Shirzad Chamine (the founder of Positive Intelligence) where he describes himself as absolutely totally awesome! Give it a watch!
Building a foundation of empathy
There is no mistake that building a foundation of empathy is the first aspect of tapping into our “sage” inner wisdom that Positive Intelligence, is based on.
In essence, empathic power invites us to cultivate compassion, appreciation, gratitude and understanding, especially during moments of introspection and transformation. As I navigated through my emotional cleanses and embraced the mantra "I am amazing," I tapped into this empathic power.
When we are kind to ourselves (rather than allowing our inner Judge to beat us up), we have so much more space and energy for other things - like coming up with creative ideas or ways to get your job done, or holding space for others in your family or team that may need your support. It sounds too simple to be true - but bringing that self empathy really does open the door for so much more.
Woo woo? Or Whoop whoop!?
Now if you’ve been reading my emails or blog for a while you’ll probably know I am mostly pretty down to earth, and not exactly into “woo woo” stuff… But something about this new loving and accepting energy I am bringing and the mantra has shifted things for me. But since I am not into woo woo - I’ll describe it better as a “whoop whoop” self - celebratory style!
Since I started using my mantra I’ve been attracting all sorts of wonderful things
Learned of the possibility of a new project
Got confirmed as a speaker at an upcoming conference
Had 2 ex colleagues and a coach friend reach out to reconnect
A newsletter subscriber responded beautifully to one of my emails
Oh AND I did a full press up for the first time (something I NEVER before believed was possible for me!)
Creating this mantra was a powerful reminder to keep that positive energy flowing—to counteract self-doubt and fear with self-love and courage. It's incredible how a few words can shift our perspective and open us up to new possibilities.
You are amazing too!
So, dear gentle reader, I invite you to reflect on your own journey, using my experience as a sort of template if you like. Imagine you were to write to a new prospective client or employer to introduce yourself…
What are the big things that describe the essence of you?
What achievements must they absolutely know about so they want to learn more?
What milestones or moments put you on the path you are on now - whats pivotal to your journey?
Now if you read that back, and ask yourself
What would your personal mantra be that resonates with your whole or even part of your being?
How can you create even more space for growth and transformation in your life?
Until next time, keep clearing, keep growing, and remember—you are amazing!
And if your inner judge is too strong and preventing you from writing this for yourself, or if you’d simply like some support to articulate what makes you amazing so you can go on to do more amazing things, I’d love to chat to you in a complimentary coaching session - please see below